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had thoughts of mercy towards me, and not only spared and saved me from many
perils and accidents, but crowned me with His loving kindnesses. Thanks to my
God for my education for the ministry. Though almost an orphan, an outcast, the
Lord cared and provided for me the necessary means and friends to finish my
studies, and when ready to be examined, of a sudden, did I receive the offer of a
call for this people in this strange unknown land. My soul was made willing to
accept, and also strengthened to pass within a few weeks the two examinations,
and admitted. How has the Lord borne with me, hardened and unthankful me.
Though not speedy, yet my passage was safe through water and fire, and when
landed at New York, I was helped to preach twice in much weakness. Hence this
congregation received me with great joy and tender affection, which encouraged
my troubled soul and made me to study and to labor more abundantly. Blessed be
God, who kept me back from presumptuous sins, and oh, may the imperfections
and iniquities of my ministry be graciously pardoned, and the Lord forgive my
carelessness, and all the innumerable sins of my ministerial youth and infancy.
The Lord, I humbly trust, has pitied me, and given me His grace to know what
belongs to my own salvation, and thereby I am taught also to be solicitous for my
flock, but I lament my coldness and backslidings at this day, and oh, may I renew
covenant with my God. Blessed Jesus, I am Thine. Thou hast called me from
Heaven to Thy glorious self! I love Thee, Lord, though not as I ought yet I love
Thee, oh my Lord and Savior, in sincerity, which is Thy own gift and work. I
desire to be more and more like unto Thy Holy, humble, meek Image, in temper
and practice, and also to enjoy Thy presence, strength and Communion. Lord! I
have forsaken Thee, but I desire to return from all creature cisterns unto Thee. 266
Oh, pity and receive and restore a poor wandering prodigal, and may I again live
before and near unto Thee, with confident cheerfulness in Thy distinguishing
grace, and restore also my bodily health and spirits in and for the service of Thy
Sanctuary. Oh, may I live to praise Thy name. Direct and dispose of my person
and ministry according to Thy sovereign goodwill and pleasure, but make me
more and more humble, sincere, zealous, and prosperous in Thy service, and
restore health and strength with care and rest in my painful flesh. (This, however,
Lord, not as I but as Thou wilst.) Oh, increase my patience, and may it have a
perfect work. Father! Pity my wife and children. Oh, spare us together, and dwell
with each of us at home and abroad in mercy. May my son be Thy servant, and
prosper his studies. Prepare us further for Thy day and work and keep us near to
Thy blessed self. May all Thy people here and elsewhere rejoice in Thy
redeeming love, and the congregation be supplied with more service and
catechize. I desire to pray for some assistance and help. May the Lord arise and
favor our plan for Church and schools, or hear and provide better things for me,
and the glory shall be His, through our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Amen.
29. This morning Mr. Ph. v Rensselaer 267 informed me of one Tiffany 268 of
Dartmouth College, who offers his service for a school. I have examined his
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Jeremiah 2:13: “For my people have committed two evils: they have forsaken me, the fountain of
living water, and dug out cisterns for themselves, cracked cisterns that can hold no water.” [The cistern
image emphasizes that idols are manufactured by human hands and that they ultimately fail.]
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Philip Van Rensselaer (1747-1798), married to Maria Sanders, who built Cherry Hill, in 1787.
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