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23. Through many weaknesses I have been enabled to perform the duties of my
public station. Blessed be the Lord for preserving mercy. My disorder has been
returning for some weeks, with pains in my bowels, and I have been distressed by
many sore temptations. I desire to submit, o my Father, to all the disposals of Thy
providence. Don’t remember the sins of my youth, nor my daily transgressions,
my corruptions are many, the lust of the flesh strong, and they stand in need of
sharp corrosives to be taken away. Oh, may they be crucified, and my soul live.
Return, Lord, with healing, sanctifying grace, and give me peace, contentment,
and even joy in trials and tribulations. I desire to put my trust in the Lord Jesus as
my physician of body and soul. Oh, may I believe and be saved from slavish fears
and anxious cares. I leave myself and family with my God in Jesus Christ, and
pray for pardon, acceptance, mercy, and grace through bearing, strengthening,
comforting grace, and wish to renew my covenant to be faithful, even unto death,
though my outward man decreases daily. Oh, may I be found also doing whenever
my Lord shall come. I would fain receive new strength in and for His service, but
His will be done. May I wait on His pleasure, and go on in His strength, leaning
upon the Beloved. Oh, may my family and congregation be also visited with
renewed mercies, our sicknesses be removed, and we obtain mercy and grace in
this time of need. I desire to rejoice with my friends that enjoy health and
happiness, here and elsewhere. May these bounties of Divine providence be
continued and sanctified; others who are afflicted I would pity and sympathize
with, both old and young. I also lament the abounding infidelity, profanity, and
vanities of the present age, the corrupt manners and practices of the youth and
others who indulge their sinful lust, and amuse themselves with dances and other
rioting, even late at night, against the warning both of the gospel ordinances and
providence and their consciences. May this excess of idleness be graciously
stopped and prevented by the conscience of some from among them. I am in
hopes that some are already not without reproving and restraining grace, and fain
would I go on to remonstrate against all idleness and worldly-mindedness. May I
keep myself unspotted from the Word, but also be instrumental in converting the
world. O, for patience, prudence, confidence, and supply of gifts and grace. I am
glad in the prospect of Zion’s prosperity throughout the land. May the assemblies,
Congress, Synods and Classes, and the colleges be endued with wisdom,
unanimity and piety from on High, and everyone be found faithful in his station
and relation to his trust in the Lord. Amen.
March ’85
3. During the winter I was, in mercy, kept up and graciously preserved, also
strengthened even out of weaknesses in the performing of private and public
duties; though my bodily strength and animal spirit seem to be impaired and my
mind troubled on account of sin and difficulties respecting myself. Family,
friends, Church and my people, who have been but slothful and neglecting the
assembling in the House of the Lord, yet I desire to render thanks unto the God of
my life that He has not left nor forsaken me. I have been enabled now and then at
least to preach with power, and o, may my poor labor be more and more owned
and crowned with blessings to myself and others, especially my own house. May
the Father of mercies grant access and acceptance at His name of grace, in public
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