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eady and prepared whenever Thou shalt call us hence, to enter into that rest and
joy which is laid up for Thy people. Pity, Lord, and pardon, and hear our cry
night and day. Amen.
February ’88
7. This morning I would close the awful scene of distress and death that was in
my family! Oh, may I be enabled by the grace of God to record some of the most
memorable circumstances, to the glory of the Lord and our present and future
comfort. Last Monday, the 4 th of this month, about six o’clock in the evening, our
dear, beloved, and much lamented youngest daughter Joanna died, I humbly hope
and trust, in the Lord. It is impossible to recollect all the particular circumstances
attending her last illness and death, but I would fain preserve some to remember
them with humble and Holy Gratitude. One night, when burning of a very severe
fever, she of herself asked: “Mama, shall I pray?” and she said Our Father, 385 and
Now I lay me down, 386 and at last: Hoog, omhoog mijn ziel naar boven, hier
beneden is ‘t niet, is ‘t niet, ‘t rechte leeven, Lieven Looven. Ja, maar daar men
Jesus ziet [High, upwards, my soul upwards, down here it is not, it is not, the
rightful life, dearly praising]. 387 The same she repeated the second night after
this, in the same manner. We both were much affected and cried, and the Lord
knows how I have been troubled about the salvation of this my child. I humbly
hope my poor prayers have been heard for her eternal happiness. She had many
severe struggles and pains of body for almost two or three weeks, and I have been
using every possible means for her recovery, so that I am now almost sorry for
persuading her to take so much stuff. The Lord forgive my sins in this respect,
that I trusted too much to the physicians, but I did it from tender love and desire
for her restoration of her precious health. I hope the dear child has forgiven me if
I have offered her, as I forgive all what she might have said when I compelled her.
But all men and means are vanity, without the blessing of the Lord. Yet it is our
duty to try in humble dependence on Him. I therefore rejoice that I have spared
no trouble nor expense to obtain her recovery, and earnestly thank the Lord for all
the strength, tenderness, and resolutions, and above all for every influence of His
Holy and Blessed Spirit to devote my child to Him, and believe the promises for
her, as in covenant with God, and why should I distress myself and wrong the God
of all mercy by doubting of her endless felicity. Many have been the anxieties and
fears of my tempted unbelieving heart, but no less the promises and consolations I
hope from the Lord, in prayer, private as well as public. Oh, what shall I render to
the Lord for all His mercy and grace, that I should be enabled to bring to the Lord
Jesus as a Savior of children, in whom is life, and I humbly hope that the Lord has
accepted of me and my precious one. According to His promise, such is the
Kingdom of Heaven. 388 This morning I thought, by reading that passage in Mark,
that the Lord Jesus was dissatisfied with them who would hinder children to come
385
The Lord’s Prayer.
386
Now I lay me down to sleep is a classic children's prayer from the 18th century.
387
From Evangelisch Gezang 43, by Jodocus Van Lodenstein (1620-1677), Dutch minister and poet;
student of Voetius in Utrecht, and of Johannes Coccejus in Franeker. Westerlo had his Verzameling
van Keurstoffen of Uitgeleezene en Nooit voor dezen Gedrukte Predikatien on the shelves.
388
Mark 10:13-16.
158