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and miserable as we are. Last night I was, and I am this morning still, much
indisposed in my bowels and stomach. May the Lord, in His great compassion, be
my most merciful healer and helper in this present time of need. I would humbly
confess my many sins, shortcomings, and transgressions, against the Lord, my
great Benefactor and, I humbly hope, my gracious Redeemer in the Lord Jesus
Christ, which have deserved and provoked His anger against me, and make me
obnoxious to temporal and even eternal punishment. Oh, for a broken heart and
contrite spirit for sin, that great sin of unbelief, which alienates my heart from the
Lord Jesus Christ, and makes me unthankful, impatient, and a monster of
abominations before the Lord. Miserable and wretched me! Who shall deliver me
from that body of sin, a whole body consisting of several members and the lusts
thereof, which I feel and find continually working within me, and by which I am
distressed and disturbed incessantly, and probably the grand adversary, while I am
in affliction and other trials, is at work to destroy me and my hope in God through
Jesus Christ. I am also at present much tempted, from without seeing and hearing
what I had hoped that never would happen again. Oh, what is man, even after
sickness and deliverance from the gates of death. Father of mercies, pity and
pardon, and suffer no sin nor Satan to have dominion over or prevail against us.
Restore former comforts and sanctify all Thy dealings with us, to our precious
immortal souls! I desire to forgive and to pray for all, even them who despitefully
use me, and to entreat the God of all mercy, to reconcile my enemies with me. If I
have offended any the least of Thy children or Thy creatures, o Father, forgive and
blot out all my iniquities, imprudences, rashness to anger, pride, selfishness, or
any other perverseness which Thou hast seen in me, and give me Thy Holy Spirit
and Grace, to mortify and to crucify all these and other lusts of the flesh, that I
may become truly, sincerely, and constantly Holy in heart and life, and, since I
humbly trust Thou hast pardoned the sins of my youth, when it pleased the Lord to
convince me of sin and enable me to receive the Lord Jesus Christ, giving myself
up unto Him, both body and soul, in time and to all eternity. I would thank the
Lord for this and all the many instances of His paternal care and love towards me
in this strange land of my pilgrimage, especially for the recovery of my dear wife
from her last illness, and that I am still living to assist her and my poor children.
But, o Lord, pardon what Thou hast seen amiss in us, and do not enter into
judgment with us in wrath. Remember mercy, for the sake and sufferings of our
Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, the Lord of righteousness, and will the Lord be
pleased to restore strength and ease in my poor body, to perform the duties of my
station, and to enjoy the ordinances of His House at His Table! We have forfeited
all Thy mercies, and deserve to be excluded and excommunicated from Thy
Sacrament. But Father, receive us again, and grant us free mercy and pardon in
the precious blood of Jesus Christ. To whom shall we go but unto Thee. O Lord,
Thou hast the word of everlasting life. In Thee is life, and whether living or
dying, o blessed Jesus, let us be Thine. Establish Thy covenant of peace and love
unto us, and be our advocate, our surety, our shield, our peace, our life and joy,
our strength, our all in all. May the blessed Spirit of all grace rest on and dwell in
us, and comfort and support us and all His people. The Lord bless and preserve
His Church, His servants, old and young, and all His ordinances, the government,
the preaching of the gospel, and the administration of the Sacraments, the schools,
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