THE STORY OF PHILOSOPHY2 The Lives and Opinions

1 62 THE STOR\ OF PHILOSOPHY
animalcule, and the Sirian poises it on his thumb-nail, causing much
commotion among the human passengers. "The chaplains of the ship re-
peated exorcisms, the sailors swore, and the philosophers formed a
system" to explain this disturbance of the laws of gravity. The Sirian
bends down like a darkening cloud and addresses them:
"O ye intelligent atoms, in whom the Supreme Being hath been pleased
to manifest his omniscience and power, without doubt your joys on this
earth must be pure and exquisite; for being unencumbered with matter,
and to all appearance little else than soul, you must spend your lives in
the delights of pleasure and reflection, which are the true enjoyments of a
perfect spirit. True happiness I have nowhere found; but certainly here it
dwells."
"We have matter enough," answered one of the philosophers, "to do
abundance of mischief. . . . You must know, for example, that at this
very moment, while I am speaking, there are 100,000 animals of our own
species, covered with hats, slaying an equal number of their fellow-creatures,
who wear turbans; at least they are either slaying or being slain; and this
has usually been the case all over the earth from time immemorial."
"MiscreantsI" cried the indignant Sirian; "I have a good mind to take two
or three steps, and trample the whole nest of such ridiculous assassins under
my feet"
"Don't give yourself the trouble," replied the philosopher; "they are
industrious enough in securing their own destruction. At the end of ten years
the hundredth part of these wretches will not survive. . . . Besides, the
punishment should not be inflicted upon them, but upon those sedentary
and slothful barbarians who, from their palaces, give orders for murdering
a million of men, and then solemnly thank God for their success." 27
Next to Candide, which belongs to a later period of Voltaire's life, the
best of these tales is Zadig. Zadig was a Babylonian philosopher, "as wise
as it is possible for men to be; ... he knew as much of metaphysics as
hath ever been known in any age, that is, little or nothing at all."
"Jealousy made him imagine that he was in love with Semira." In de-
fending her against robbers he was wounded in the left eye,
A messenger was despatched to Memphis for the great Egyptian physician
Hermes, who came with a numerous retinue. He visited Zadig, and declared
that the patient would lose his eye. He even foretold the day and
hour when this fatal event would happen. "Had it been the right eye," said
he, "I could easily have cured it; but the wounds of the left eye are incurable."
All Babylon lamented the fate of Zadig, and admired the profound
knowledge of Hermes. In two days the abscess broke of its own accord, and
Zadig was perfectly cured. Hermes wrote a book to prove that it ought not
to have healed. Zadig did not read it. 28
He hurried, instead, to Semira, only to find that upon hearing Hermes*
first report she had betrothed herself to another man, having, she said,