Microsoft Office

Acknowledgments
I would especially like to thank Terry Davies, for pointing out the similarities between Excel and the
Daily Telegraph Cryptic Crossword. I still can’t do the crossword, but I can type letters into cells — which
is almost as gratifying. I’m also thankful to Vilhjálmur Helgason, for not changing his name to William
Tell. My buddy Sol also deserves some credit. He’s the guy who scours the Internets to find all the stuff that
may or may not interest you — and he sends it to me.
At least nine pages of this book are dedicated to Eenie Meenie, who just keeps hanging around. I’d like to
thank Jordon Kalilich for being so incredibly thankable, and Mikey McGrinder for being Guitarded. But
most of all, I’m grateful to cyberhobo for his respectful silence. I would also like to acknowledge Granny
Dee. When she purchases her copy of the Excel 2007 Bible, it’s very likely that she will own more copies
than the Vatican Library.
This book wouldn’t be the book it is if it weren’t for danielo, whose favorite answer is usually found in cell
G16. Thanks also go out to Anibal Fraquelli, because he teaches that there’s more to life than cells (a concept
that continues to be debated in academic circles). Many thanks to Don Erickson, for his help with the
past pluperfect tense, an archaic but surprisingly useful literary device. And special thanks go out to Guy
and Bob, for making 2006 the “Year of the Banjo” — even if Candy insists that they still can’t play very
well. Hopefully, this book will set them on a more productive path to 5-string nirvana.
In the nonhuman realm, a bark out goes to Tootsie, the best darn chocolate Cocker Spaniel living in
California. And thanks to Jean. I hereby offer my official apology for running over her dog and blaming it
on the neighbors. I’m also grateful to Rex. He doesn’t understand most of the words in my books, but he
does enjoy entering formulas in cell K9.
A big thanks to Dave Green, for not contributing to this book. Without his interference, I was able to complete
it on time with only a few dozen major rewrites. I send a round-about circular thanks to Andrew
Reynolds, who often insists on reinventing the wheel.
I’d also like to thank five of Dave Brett’s seven personalities for their valuable assistance (the other two are
Access mavens). And I simply must acknowledge Nazire because she has an uncanny ability to interpret my
crystal clear instructions without even trying very hard. I also appreciate Alexis Cole, who insists on
spending his birthday working on very clunky macros. A big thanks is due Charles Chickering, for plagiarizing
my code to help the multitudes on the public newsgroups.
I truly admire Stuart O’Brien, for all the long hours, hard work, and Herculean effort he put into writing
his own acknowledgment. And thanks to Lewis Johnson, for giving me my big break — both times.
Special thanks to Mike C, for thoughtfully stroking his beard and looking intelligent while reading my
books in public places (that sort of thing really helps sales). And equally special thanks to Jan Chan, for
demonstrating his semi-amazing Reverse Tsil Tnemgdelwonkca formula.
For the first time, I’d like to publicly acknowledge Dustin Spicuzza, for showing me how much fun
exploding billboards can be. Also, thanks to Joel Schultz for using my book in all of his Excel classes, and
for being a genius in general. I’d like to give a special thanks to Roger Martin, for his suggestion to use
numbered pages. If only I’d learned that trick sooner in my career!
I must acknowledge Artoch, for his tireless efforts with the Reckoning. This book would have two fewer
sentences if it weren’t for him. And I extend special thanks to Tobias H. Schmidbauer, for thinking that my
blog had a connection with The Tonight Show. How could I forget Greg P. in Fairfield? He showed me that
Excel is much easier when you use both hands.
xxxv