Microsoft Office

Acknowledgments
I may be faceless, but I’m still grateful to Grant Willson and William Strunk Jr. for the loan of several semicolons
(I’ll return them when I’m finished, I promise). And I must acknowledge Jerry Przygocki for teaching
me to paint, and for showing me that a working class hero is something to be. Special thanks to Jonco, who
created a workbook that will ultimately assist me in the search for the real killers. I would also like to thank
Josh Voog, for his half-hearted commitment to average, everyday mediocrity. And still more thanks to Zack
Barresse, who is mostly unhelpful, but is often good for some comic relief, a sturdy smile, and forced laughter.
I should probably thank Ross Mclean, but I don’t think I will. But I will give a “shout out” (as the kids say)
to Doug Glancy, who is fairly tall. And I must mention Richard Schollar, who was absolutely no help
whatsoever in the production of this book. Thanks are truly due to Dan Maxey, who reads my blog with
amusement almost every day. And thanks to Renee Fabry, for... Well, you know.
I may be stretching it, but I’m grateful to Abu Ja’far Muhammad ibn Musa al-Khwarizmi (c.778 - c.850),
who created the Arabic number system that powers Excel. I must also acknowledge Ian Huitson, for being
the first person to produce a Mandelbrot in Excel, complete with graphical output and not a single statement
of VBA code. He deserves almost as much thanks as Graham Long, who actually taught me everything
I know.
Kudos to Sally I. Villarreal (for valuable assistance), to Philip A. DiStefano (for no specific reason), and to
Nate Roth (who reminds me that even pirates need a little R & R). A belated thanks to Allan Moore, for his
lack of contributions to this book and all of my previous books. And thanks to John Pritzlaff, for the same
reason. I’d also like to express my heartfealt thanks to Neal Eiserman for correcting the spelling erors in this
book.
If I had a Hallmark thank-you card, I’d send it without a stamp to Jonathan Caws-Elwitt, because he
prematurely said, “You’re welcome.” I owe him one. I also owe one to Russel Maxwell, for teaching me
the true meaning of life, and without whose help this book would be very one-dimensional. Warm and
almost-sincere thanks to Steven Nelson, for buying several of my books over the years (at discount prices).
Without his personal support, I might not have been able to write this edition. Yvette, I will always remember
our time at the River Walk, Viva Le Tour! I also thank Blayne Rutledge, for his unparalleled involvement
and keen perception of all things perceptible. And, of course, I would be remiss if I didn’t acknowledge ac
for her... well... knowledge.
My prayers were answered by the tireless efforts of BobOldSchoolBolin, who gave me the faith to accept
that Excel is just a spreadsheet program and not Satan’s Soul Stealer. I give praise to Barry of Maryland, for
spreading the four gospels of Excel: Pivot Tables, Functions, Charting and VBA — all in accordance with
the J-Walk Bible.
And here’s to the dazzling Janessa Allen — the loveliest programmer in Royal Oak, Michigan. And special
recognition goes to AnnMarie Johnson, for her longstanding membership in my fan club (to make up for
her husband’s recognition as such on the LoTR DVD). Thanks to Jim Westrich for sending me a copy of his
innovative Excel Origami project. Sadly, this project has folded, but a documentary will soon be released on
Paper View. And I’ll never forget Chip Gorman, for showing me a great little VBA trick to calculate pi to the
last digit. His tip on squaring the circle is also worth mentioning, but I won’t.
A special thanks is extended to Oscar Binley, whose obsession with tennis balls led me to uncover a hitherto
unexplored aspect of VBA. And I can’t overlook LinDee Kangas, who first opened my eyes to the power of
VLOOKUP. I offer a most sincere thank-you to the sometimes irascible Steve. Finalizing this edition of the
book would not have been possible in the absence of his advice that the anagram of my name is “belch no
jaw hank”. And this is my long-overdue thanks to Jonathan (Ozzy) Osborne, whose contribution to the
spin-cycle of my washing machine defies words, thoughts, and most nonmundane feelings.
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