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138 SNAKES IN SUITS
to cold, dispassionate stranger is a consistent element of psychopathic
behavior, and affects victims in predictable ways—ways that
may work to the benefit of the psychopath.
This “dark side” of a previously charming coworker comes as a
shock to those used as pawns. When faced with this “new” side of
the psychopath, they frequently question their own behavior first,
blaming themselves for the changes they are now sensing in the psychopath.
“What did I do?” is a common self-doubt. Although these
pawns may not yet understand what has happened, they begin to see
glimmers of the true psychopathic personality—a realization we are
told is “chilling.”
Eventually, pawns conclude that they have been patsies. They
feel cheated, defiled, and often incredulous that the person they liked
and trusted betrayed that trust. And, we found, it was not always
over major things that the truth became known to them. It was
sometimes only a small incident that changed their perception
enough so that the true nature of the “snake” in their midst became
evident. But embarrassment and shame often keep them from coming
forward.
Organization members who were willing to discuss with us their
interactions with their abusive, manipulating coworkers reported
feeling abandoned when the latter moved their attention to others.
They also reported experiencing the most common victim response:
silence due to shame at being conned. Like so many other victims,
they wanted to keep their shame secret. This response, of course,
plays into the hands of the psychopath who is protected by the tendency
toward silence and secrecy.
Interestingly, while most victims reported feeling ashamed at being
conned, and therefore reluctant to speak about their experiences,
a few also felt disappointment when the psychopath in their company
moved his or her attentions to others in the organization. It was
almost as if they had lost something they valued—a close friend—
when the psychopath stopped using them.