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Hot Buttons and Weak Spots
287
Love Fraud
Donna Andersen is a freelance writer in Atlantic City, New
Jersey, who was conned and bilked of her savings by a psychopathic
bigamist, James Alwyn Montgomery. In trying to make
sense of what had happened to her, she read Hare’s book Without
Conscience. “His book described Montgomery precisely,” she
wrote on her website (www.lovefraud.com), to which the reader
is referred for extensive personal accounts of her own experiences
and those of others who have been burned by psychopaths
(whom she refers to as sociopaths). She wrote, “Montgomery
told me two kinds of lies:
• Lies mixed with truth. His story would be plausible, but I’d
notice inconsistencies. When I questioned the discrepancies,
he would either explain them away or accuse me of being
paranoid.
• Totally brazen lies. A normal person, even one prone to exaggeration,
would never think of making the extraordinary
claims that Montgomery made. For example, Montgomery
said he was awarded the Victorian Cross, Australia’s highest
military honor, for his heroism in the Vietnam War. Well, he
never won the medal. He never served in Vietnam. And even
though he walked my dog every morning wearing a Special
Forces beret, he never served in the military.”
Once you understand what has happened, you may feel like a
patsy or a fool. Many former victims report saying to themselves,
“How could I have fallen for these lies?” or “I’m such a fool.” This is
a normal feeling, but it is not without its costs. People who feel like
fools wish to hide their foolishness. Rather than seek out confirmation
or validation of their new view of the psychopath, they tend to
avoid others. They sometimes believe that others have not seen what
is going on, and while this may be the case, it is far better to confide