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68 SNAKES IN SUITS
if you are not seen as valuable or a threat to the psychopath, and
therefore of little interest. Psychopaths invest a lot of mental energy
in identifying and manipulating their victims, but they don’t spend
much energy trying to uphold a mask for those with little utility to
them; the return on investment is just not there for them. Individuals
who are ignored can therefore be in a good position to watch psychopathic
individuals manipulate others. With the knowledge of
how it is done, they may be able to get glimpses behind the mask.
People learning about psychopaths for the first time sometimes
begin to see psychopathic traits in some people that they know. Former
bosses, ex-spouses, public officials, teachers, family members,
and friends often become suspects if they happen to display behaviors
that are on Hare’s list of psychopathic traits. Others new to the
field will begin to see psychopathic traits in themselves, much like
doctors in training who sometimes think they’re experiencing the
symptoms of the diseases they are studying. Being aware of one’s
own tendency to attribute psychopathy to those displaying some of
its features, including oneself, is important in honing one’s skill in
spotting the real thing.
Personality: The Three Faces of You
Many books have been written about personality and the complex
ways in which it influences our interactions with others. There are
theories of how personality develops, how it differs from person to
person, and how it reveals itself in one’s behavior. However, regardless
of the particular theory of personality you follow, there are three
common ways that each person’s personality can be experienced. All
are relevant to understanding psychopathic manipulation, because
many psychopaths are astute students of human nature and, unlike
most people, are willing to use what they have learned for their own
selfish purposes. They may not all have textbook learning about personality
theory, but they have an intuitive feel that they put to good