d59KNYm

Hot Buttons and Weak Spots
285
11. If Abused, Seek Help Immediately
Should victims raise questions to the psychopath about his or her behavior
or decide to ask the psychopath about inconsistencies they
have noticed, they risk retribution. At first, the psychopath may vehemently
deny any improprieties, and turn the game into an attack
on the complainant. At this stage, most victims will feel ashamed that
they doubted the psychopath, and will come to doubt themselves
even more. Should they persist in expressing doubt or concern, they
will certainly suffer escalating abuse at the hands of the irritated psychopath.
Abuse can take many forms but usually affects us in three ways:
psychologically, emotionally, and physically.
Physical abuse, the most obvious, can be manifested in blackened
eyes, bruises, cuts, and so on. Often, as in the case of abused
spouses, physical aggression goes unreported. Family members, astute
friends, and coworkers who notice it may try to intervene, but
are often forced to stand by helplessly because the victim refuses
their assistance. Any type of physical abuse is dangerous, as
psychopaths—along with other abusers—tend to escalate their attacks
over time.
Emotional and psychological abuse is much harder to evaluate
by outsiders, although it can be devastating to those in a psychopathic
relationship. Emotional abuse often leads to anxiety, distress,
depression, inability to sleep, and generalized fear. Psychological
abuse can lead to lowered self-esteem, feelings of unworthiness, selfdoubt,
and psychological pain. Individuals abused by psychopaths
feel they are not themselves or something is wrong with them. They
often blame themselves for the abuse, wondering, “What did I do
wrong?” Because our thoughts and feelings affect how we behave,
victims may begin to do poorly on their jobs and get easily distracted,
agitated, reticent, or overly emotional. Psychopaths use emotional
and psychological abuse to control their victims.