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The Fifth Column
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4. AVOID CONFRONTATIONS
Having a blowout with your boss in public is never a good idea; taking
on a psychopath can only lead to disaster. Psychopaths will set
you up to explode—by pushing your hot buttons—when it suits
their purpose. Do not take the bait. As hard as it may be, you should
always remain cool and calm when being attacked, however unfairly.
We are not suggesting that you be submissive, but rather that you
rely on your strengths—through assertiveness, not aggressiveness—
when confronted. The safest, although not always practical, position
is to minimize or avoid all contact with a boss you believe to be a psychopath.
When you must interact, make sure there are others in the
area that can witness your calm, professional stance and the psychopath’s
ranting. Then document the interaction in your date book
in accurate, unemotional terms.
Psychopaths will sometimes berate their subordinates in front of
their superiors to demonstrate their own “leadership.” Because they
are uninformed about true leadership, they think that this will help
their careers; in most cases, it does not. Seasoned executives know
that berating subordinates in public, especially during management
meetings, is bad management. It shows them that the boss is not in
control of him- or herself or the situation, and this sign of weakness
is not lost on those higher up. However, you should never get angry
and retaliate against your boss (that is, take the bait) in these situations.
Rather, defend your decisions, judgments, or results by stating
the facts. If you are in the wrong, admit it, apologize, and ask to be
allowed to try again. If others are clearly at fault (for example, another
department did not deliver material on time), mention it but
do not come across as shifting blame to others. Make sure to note
that you made every effort within your power (including asking for
your boss’s help) to achieve the goal or objective. To the best of your
ability, you should come across as competent and loyal, even to the
boss who just berated you in public.
Psychopaths, especially the bullying kind, seem to enjoy dressing