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Psychopathic Manipulation
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an ulterior—some would say “evil”—and, at the very least, selfish
motive. This victimization goes far beyond trying to take advantage
of someone on a date or during a simple business transaction. The
victimization is predatory in nature; it often leads to severe financial,
physical, or emotional harm for the individual. Healthy, real relationships
are built on mutual respect and trust; they are based on
sharing honest thoughts and feeling. The mistaken belief that the
psychopathic bond has any of these characteristics is the reason it is
so successful.
In summary, the psychopath’s psychological game involves analyzing
the individual’s expectations and desires, and then reflecting
them in a psychological mask that is so convincing the person bonds
with him or her. This bonding can take place very quickly, even during
the space of one cross-country airplane ride. There are two payoffs:
the psychopath wins the immediate game by gaining the
person’s trust, and the victim, now in the grip of the psychopath’s
power, will soon give up whatever the psychopath requests or demands.
We have reviewed many cases of individuals involved with psychopaths.
Those who have been in long-term relationships with
psychopaths often describe them as the supreme psychologist or
mind reader. The more they interacted with the psychopath, the
more they felt drawn in or mesmerized by the façade. Many referred
to their psychopathic partners as their “soul mates” and reported
how much they believed they had in common with the psychopath.
It is even more disturbing to hear some victims’ reports—once they
have been cut loose during the abandonment phase—that they miss
the relationship and want the psychopath back in their lives. It is
very difficult for many to believe the relationship never really existed.
The whole process is particularly insidious and difficult to get
over if the psychopath is physically and personally attractive. How
to avoid being ensnared in this one-sided relationship will be discussed
later.