Brianna Wiest - The Mountain Is You_ Transforming Self-Sabotage Into Self-Mastery (2020)

190 BRIANNA WIEST
This looks like needing attention, affirmation, compliments.
But it also looks like being dramatic, negative, and
focusing disproportionately on what’s wrong in our lives.
When someone is complaining about something simple—
and they seem to be doing it more than the given situation
would call for—they aren’t trying to get your help about a
small issue. They are trying to have their feelings validated.
This is also a common root of self-sabotaging behaviors.
Sometimes, when we have deep wells of grief within us,
we absolutely cannot allow ourselves to relax and enjoy
our lives and relationships. We cannot just “have fun,” because
doing so feels like a betrayal. It feels offensive. We
need to feel validated, but we don’t even know why.
WHY IS THIS EFFECTIVE?
Think of your feelings like water running through ducts
in your body. Your thoughts determine whether or not the
ducts are clean. The cleanliness of the ducts determines
the quality of the water.
If you suddenly have a feeling that you dislike and don’t
expect—a sudden rush of water, let’s say—it’s common
to want to shut that valve off and not allow it to pass.
However, stopping the flow of water does not make the
water go away. Instead, it begins to intensely pressurize
and create serious damage to the parts of your body that
are no longer receiving flow. This begins to have a ripple
effect on your entire life.