volume one IN THE D U D L E Y C L A R K - Ohio Vine Tours

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Pecos started shootin’ up their little game He gave them redskins such a shakeup That they jumped out of their makeup That’s the way the Painted Desert got its name! So yippee-i-ay-i-ya, yippee-i-o For the toughest critter west of the Alamo! Roy sees his building and he makes a beeline. He’s got a plan he knows he has to carry through. Inside he hopes awaits the answer, it’ll be a great enhancer, and can put his mind to rest without ado. So yippee-i-ay-i-ya, yippee-i-o Roy the window washer’s finally gonna know! 1 ROY ROGERS IN THE 21ST CENTURY
“CLICK” Roy Stands before 28/RR, right hand poised to knock. His Sony tape player has just clicked off. It has been a wonderful day. A day unlike any other. It’s not every day he gets eighty-sixed from two stores. He’s filled with courage and aflame with confidence. He is no longer Window Washer Roy, or Brother of Rick the Asshole Roy. He’s not exactly sure who or what kind of Roy he is, but one thing’s certain—he’s a changed man, an altered version of the Before Roy. The fact that he’s about to knock on 28/RR’s door proves it. But what’s brought him to such an uncharacteristic place? What’s prompted such feelings of bravado? Was it just the music? Roy takes a deep breath and— His right hand’s uncovered knuckles come into contact with the door but, unlike as with a knock, make no sound. Instead, they rest, as after a long day’s journey, or a complicated conversation, or a young couple’s energetic tryst. —What was he thinking, busting in here like this, just because of some silly music he overheard? What is up with him being so heedless of consequences, of racing headlong into the fray? Any fray? Roy thinks— —This needs to be better thought out. —This needs to have a plan. His fire, having eaten through its fuel, flickers instead of flames. His confidence, so bloated moments ago, is as if punctured by a nail. ROY ROGERS IN THE 21ST CENTURY 1
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volume one ROY ROGERS IN THE TWENTY
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What readers are saying... “Defin
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THE DEDICATION For her forbearance
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THE OPENING QUOTATION I’ve labore
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THE RED FOR RENT sign stops him dea
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The Old Cowboy didn’t know the na
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ROY’S KNUCKLES TAP gently upon th
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duties of her office demand, or the
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The Old Cowboy could rest now. His
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ROY DROPS HIS DUFFLE, and causes hi
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For, Roy is a window washer. He cou
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watched them hanging there, what a
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RAIN PELTS the windowpanes. Tears f
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ROY ROGERS IN THE 21ST CENTURY 1
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The Old Cowboy rose before the sun,
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BLUE, BLUE SKY. White, white clouds
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cry. His ears fill with Rick’s ca
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A WATERY BLUE, BLEARY blue, bleary
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approach of footsteps, or the slam
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two letters. They appear to have be
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ROY LOVES HIS MUSIC. It is the sust
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WAILING WALL is a downtown music st
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to the right of his navel, and bene
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man’s Frank Zappa mustache before
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“You make me come after your hair
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There were times when the Old Cowbo
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GEORGETOWN WAS NOT always hemmed in
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ackfired and Georgetown became even
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THE SONY TAPE PLAYER attached to Ro
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fans. Maybe, this being his later l
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A prime number, and one he’s happ
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BLUE LIGHT FROM a cloud-eclipsed mo
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GROGGY, GRAY, GROANING Roy rises fr
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feathered nether regions of their a
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FOR ROY, moving into the Outside Wo
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Roy may well be the perfected incar
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Crouched on an outcrop of granite,
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ROY’S PLAN IS SIMPLE, almost of n
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Especially Rick the Asshole, and so
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sense. And that doesn’t happen a
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He pulls the cord and stands up. Ro
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underwear. It’s a regular place f
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asement. Ammonia fumes from years a
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Her big eyes shimmer. “Sh. He mig
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“S-Sure.” “Will that be all f
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He’s already bought the groceries
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The living room is swell. Real neat
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Mel pouts. “Hey, you’re not Bra
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Meanwhile, far across the kitchen,
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Page 107 and 108: The Old Cowboy rode down the bluff,
Page 109 and 110: “TWO SHORT SKINNY mochas—shock
Page 111 and 112: These two men—from such polarized
Page 113 and 114: This has never happened before. Roy
Page 115 and 116: also has a head of frothy, brown cu
Page 117 and 118: outstretched hand. She has had enou
Page 119 and 120: MIST PREVAILS in Seattle throughout
Page 121 and 122: thumpthumpthump Not far from the he
Page 123 and 124: when they see one, so that should b
Page 125 and 126: ROY’S EYES POP OPEN. He had been
Page 127 and 128: The man inside 28/RR took the bait!
Page 129 and 130: accordance with the Lavese Las Mano
Page 131 and 132: The Old Cowboy looked down on the t
Page 133 and 134: ROY STANDS BEFORE 28/RR, right hand
Page 135 and 136: Doughy clouds thicken with light. M
Page 137 and 138: And here’s how it happened… FLA
Page 139 and 140: him and it uses his name. He places
Page 141 and 142: stair are more likely to become fri
Page 143 and 144: The guy turns and glares. And, for
Page 145 and 146: something that vaguely haunts him f
Page 147 and 148: the song had sounded so much nicer
Page 149 and 150: notice what everyone else on the si
Page 151 and 152: A tumbleweed tumbles weedily. Off i
Page 153 and 154: taught to do this at the secret Bar
Page 155 and 156: promises that one day they, too, sh
Page 157: Roy’s decision to go home may see
Page 161 and 162: Does Roy lower his hand and slink a
Page 163 and 164: The strawberry roan nodded and snor
Page 165 and 166: THE OCCUPANT OF 2 /RR, bless him, m
Page 167 and 168: his shoulders. It seems like a coup
Page 169 and 170: Best not to annoy the bald dude. Mi
Page 171 and 172: He takes a breath, licks his lips a
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Page 175 and 176: ROY’S BRAIN has a remarkable memo
Page 177 and 178: the Odd Duck Club, a short-lived mu
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Page 181 and 182: hosed it all away, washed it down h
Page 183 and 184: o-lay-dee-o-day-lay-de-o-day-lay-de
Page 185 and 186: The Old Cowboy wrapped the reins on
Page 187 and 188: The other hands at the bar returned
Page 189 and 190: “I dint come in here for no troub
Page 191 and 192: WHEN DAWN COMES to the quartzite sk
Page 193 and 194: into Lake Washington. They get shot
Page 195 and 196: Old Guy backs up a bit—his gun ne
Page 197 and 198: Finally, besides blinking, Roy can
Page 199 and 200: Like a piece of origami, Old Guy’
Page 201 and 202: Young Guy nods. “Yeah, sure.” O
Page 203 and 204: Old Guy keeps on smiling. He stands
Page 205 and 206: The stuff Old Guy’s offering isn
Page 207 and 208: “Yodel yodel yeah hee ay.” Did
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Roy leans forward, elbows on knees.
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ROY MAKES it. Afterwards, he makes
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He squares his shoulders. He opens
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Mel flutters and flutes. “He not
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The Old Cowboy dropped his scarred
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darkness, his mother and brother wo
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ROY WORRIES the loose change in his
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to leotards, from hair spiked to ha
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And leads him to a far-off, seldom
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ecause he buys a CD player. It’s
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It’s too late to turn tail now. H
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Roy moistens his lips. The image of
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“You won’t regret it.” Roy pr
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“With tax, it comes to $188.97.
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“What’s this so-called friend
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Rick closes the blade and chuckles.
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Her name was Mathilde Oliphante Dou
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Since this was principally cattle c
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“GO ON, ROY—DRAW!” Roy finds
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He tries to focus on Pete’s gun h
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“Let’s try somethin’ differen
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Pete rewinds the movie. “First—
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It is what o’time in the whenever
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Pete nudges. Holds out the joint. S
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did. With the exception, of course,
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At thirteen, he stood tall and broa
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she knew was she needed her loved o
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“RAOUL WALSH is where we’ll sta
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theatre was about to invest in 70mm
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“When we gonna watch that?” “
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That would be rude. But it’s what
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Sorrow followed like an old scoldin
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Wilson, a bilious-appearing man, lo
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“THE SONS FIRST appeared in a 193
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His own, personal joint. Imagine th
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Judge Roy Bean will never leave the
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“You got the look of a man whose
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“SERGEANT WESTON!” “Suh!”
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squeak He is still dressed, having
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“Yeah.” Rick’s eyes narrow.
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“And, fuckin’ A—I’m not you
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“That is, if he had any—haha.
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From beneath the shadow cast by his
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“No, sir.” “Very well. You li
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“ROY ROGERS was th’ real deal.
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Her eyes, like the sky, start to mi
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Pete mixes runny eggs with hash bro
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Watching Pete unzip the pouch, Roy
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“What’s eatin’ you?” Roy sh
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From Ft. Belknap, on their journey
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The Young Cowboy, with a look to hi
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A BUG-EYED black boy opens the pick
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hairs from his ears. Not all mind y
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He studies Pete from head to toe.
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Mel holds erect the selfsame, still
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daddy wasn’t drunk and beating on
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“Where’s the wine? You drink it
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dread “—I told you to bring des
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lobbied by lower thoughts, swell ch
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Pete snorts. “Or Tom Mix, Gene Au
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Pete slides his chair out from unde
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“You!” Pete turns and stares at
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Roy squeezes his eyes together. Col
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THE END OF VOLUME ONE ROY ROGERS IN
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THE ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS Blue Shadows o
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FROM VOLUME TWO Sentimental? Is Roy
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volume one IN THE D U D L E Y C L A R K - Ohio Vine Tours

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