volume one IN THE D U D L E Y C L A R K - Ohio Vine Tours

Like a piece of origami, Old Guy’s face folds into a question
mark.
This analogy, however, fails to occur to Roy who doesn’t know
the word origami. Maybe Roy doesn’t know a lot of things—
maybe most things, he’s never really thought about it—but at
least he knows he doesn’t know and it doesn’t bother him that
he doesn’t, except every once in a while, like now when he really
wishes he knew about Trigger the Wonder Horse.
Roy and his wishes.
Reluctantly he shakes his head.
“No. Sorry. Sir.”
Old Guy’s origami question mark unfolds into a look of scorn.
“I’m th’ one’s sorry, son.” He stares hard at Roy. “For you.”
Roy can appreciate this.
“Can I go now? Please? I really gotta pee.”
Old Guy’s grip tightens on his gun.
“I don’t care you gotta do number two. You sit put ’til I’m
convinced.”
Roy pleads,
“Convinced of what, mister? I swear—I don’t know Trigger.”
Old Guy snorts. His eyes narrow, something else he’s very
good at besides sneering and staring. “Not about that. About
whether or not someone sent you to kill me.”
Roy’s eyes bulge as much from surprise as from his bursting
bladder.
“Kill you? Me? Mister, I wouldn’t—”
“There, there, sonny. I’m thinkin’ maybe you’re right.” He
inclines his gnarly head towards his bonus room. “You can go in
there an’ pee.”
Roy struggles to understand.
“In-In your bedroom?”
“Yeah.” His host nods. “In th’ pot.”
Roy has a problem with this.
It’s bad enough peeing in a room designated as a room for
peeing, not to mention doing number two—which Roy never does
in a public restroom—but to do it while standing in a bedroom
with another guy right there where he could see and hear, and
not only that but to do it into some kind of pot—
ROY ROGERS IN THE 21ST CENTURY 1