volume one IN THE D U D L E Y C L A R K - Ohio Vine Tours

to leotards, from hair spiked to hair dreadlocked to candy pink to
half-shaved away—even Roy, sweet Roy, has occasional thoughts
of violence.
It is easy for him to ignore people; after all, he’s been having it
done to him his whole life. And, although he is generally kindly
disposed to those who live in want, need and squalor—and
especially in cardboard boxes—there is something suspect about
the panhandlers who line Broadway Ave, something that makes
it seem like a sideline, or avocation.
Begging, in his humble opinion, is not trendy and ought not to
be a hobby.
Roy keeps his hands in his pockets—his change therein
reserved for double-tall Americanos and Juke Boxes and the
occasional parking meter—his brain charged with the singleminded
task of getting his feet into the nearest music store.
He pushes through the doors of CD Land Music, exchanging
the hubbub of beggary for the ecology of merchandising.
A young, male employee greets him with a cheery smile.
“Help you find something today?”
The door has barely closed and already they are upon him.
Roy is startled by this intrusion.
Through bagged, bleary eyes he stares.
Time, as always, ticks away. Meanwhile, Roy’s brain switches
tracks, having discharged its original commission (i.e., getting
him into a music store) successfully. With hardly a moment to
bask in self-congratulation, he stares at this new, unexpected
hurdle.
Through bagged, bleary eyes he stares.
The young male employee he stares at so baggily and blearily
has yet to cease smiling.
He—it is unquestionably a he—has chosen to stretch his
earlobes to accept silver dollar-sized plugs. His rolled-up sleeves
expose forearms alive with imagery, ablaze with rich greens and
vibrant reds. Metal rings seem to cinch his eyebrows together,
and his hair is braided into a fuzzy rope.
He continues to smile cheerily at Roy despite the fact Roy has
so far failed to return the favor.
People can be like this.
ROY ROGERS IN THE 21ST CENTURY 20