volume one IN THE D U D L E Y C L A R K - Ohio Vine Tours

ecause he buys a CD player. It’s not like they’re going to make
him buy a matching cell phone and download ring tones by Van
Morrison. He can have the best of both worlds. He can still be
Roy Weston. Only a Roy Weston who can listen to what’s on a
CD, as well as to what’s on a tape.
Roy is reaching another Big Deal Decision in his life. And he
is doing it with a hangover.
He seems to be getting better at it.
Making Big Deal Decisions, that is.
He squares his shoulders and nods decisively.
After all, he has tons of money and no one to spend it on but
himself. He’s worked hard all his life. He deserves a treat.
It’s time to find the pincushion guy.
At the glass counter, where the cash register sits, Roy bends
on popping knees and stares at the CD players arrayed on a
shelf inside. They all look pretty much alike. He starts to feel
panicky. Maybe he’d better get out of here—fast. Before it’s too
late. Before—
He looks around for someplace he can leave his stack of CDs.
“You need some help down there?”
Roy’s head snaps up and he finds himself looking into a pair
of violet eyes.
What happened to Smiling Guy?
The violet eyes belong to a girl who doesn’t seem to have any
piercings or tattoos.
What she has instead are breasts.
Two of them.
And they seem capable of independent thought.
They inhabit her loose, billowy white blouse like a pair of
partying hamsters.
Pinned to her loose, billowy white blouse is a black plastic
nametag. It proclaims its mistress to be Debi.
Roy manages to choke out this single word:
“N-No.”
As if to emphasize its root meaning, he shakes his head.
Debi displays a dazzling smile.
She had been lounging against the counter, peering down
ROY ROGERS IN THE 21ST CENTURY 21