volume one IN THE D U D L E Y C L A R K - Ohio Vine Tours

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He does seem to like horses, though. By the time Wayne—Kirby York—is done four-flushing reporters about what a great man Henry Fonda was—Lt. Col. Owen Thursday—lying about his misdeeds and misjudgments for the sake of the Calvary’s honor, thereby tying a Gordian knot of confusion for historians to come, Pete has reached a decision. It would be a while before his protégé sees the other two Calvary pictures. Or be ready for The Searchers. It’s time for something more potent. And more to the point. It’s time for Roy Rogers. 2 ROY ROGERS IN THE 21ST CENTURY
“SERGEANT WESTON!” “Suh!” “Scout up ahead for a safe passage to the river!” “Yessuh!” “And don’t take any chances with them Pawnee.” “Nosuh!” Roy, mounted on his spirited coal-black steed, Presto, sprints off at a fast gallop ahead of the advancing Seventh Calvary, Company C. Behind him, he leaves a wagon train packed with a golden-hearted whore; a drunken lawyer; two disputing suitors for the hand of the Battalion Commander’s redheaded, freckled-faced, blue-eyed daughter; a man with a bad head cold; a maudlin Army captain about to retire; an alcoholic, Irish doctor; an Indian Agent who has secretly been selling guns to the Indians; a woman who adores Roy, but who he must ignore for the sake of regimental morale; a massive Master Sergeant who lusts to kill Roy, but who will ultimately become his friend; a small boy Roy rescued from an Indian raid, who loves him like a father; a toothless, tetchy old cook; a beautiful, fine lady from Virginia who cannot abide the sight of the whore; a sweet young girl, whose husband has been scalped, and who is about to have a baby; a tall, angular, well-dressed gambler from Louisiana, who carries a grudge against Roy—who caught him cheating at cards—as well as a brace of nickel-plated derringers he longs to use against his perceived foe; a convict, handsome and dashing even in chains, who claims he is innocent of the charge of murder, that the man he killed had killed his family; the Sheriff who is conveying him to trial, but whose heart is not in his job because he suspects his prisoner to be innocent; the Judge who will try the case, who is himself on the payroll of a corrupt ROY ROGERS IN THE 21ST CENTURY 2
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volume one ROY ROGERS IN THE TWENTY
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What readers are saying... “Defin
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THE DEDICATION For her forbearance
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THE OPENING QUOTATION I’ve labore
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THE RED FOR RENT sign stops him dea
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The Old Cowboy didn’t know the na
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ROY’S KNUCKLES TAP gently upon th
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duties of her office demand, or the
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The Old Cowboy could rest now. His
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ROY DROPS HIS DUFFLE, and causes hi
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For, Roy is a window washer. He cou
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watched them hanging there, what a
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RAIN PELTS the windowpanes. Tears f
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ROY ROGERS IN THE 21ST CENTURY 1
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The Old Cowboy rose before the sun,
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BLUE, BLUE SKY. White, white clouds
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cry. His ears fill with Rick’s ca
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A WATERY BLUE, BLEARY blue, bleary
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approach of footsteps, or the slam
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two letters. They appear to have be
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ROY LOVES HIS MUSIC. It is the sust
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WAILING WALL is a downtown music st
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to the right of his navel, and bene
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man’s Frank Zappa mustache before
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“You make me come after your hair
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There were times when the Old Cowbo
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GEORGETOWN WAS NOT always hemmed in
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ackfired and Georgetown became even
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THE SONY TAPE PLAYER attached to Ro
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fans. Maybe, this being his later l
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A prime number, and one he’s happ
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BLUE LIGHT FROM a cloud-eclipsed mo
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GROGGY, GRAY, GROANING Roy rises fr
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feathered nether regions of their a
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FOR ROY, moving into the Outside Wo
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Roy may well be the perfected incar
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Crouched on an outcrop of granite,
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ROY’S PLAN IS SIMPLE, almost of n
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Especially Rick the Asshole, and so
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sense. And that doesn’t happen a
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He pulls the cord and stands up. Ro
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underwear. It’s a regular place f
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asement. Ammonia fumes from years a
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Her big eyes shimmer. “Sh. He mig
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“S-Sure.” “Will that be all f
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He’s already bought the groceries
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The living room is swell. Real neat
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Mel pouts. “Hey, you’re not Bra
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Meanwhile, far across the kitchen,
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The Old Cowboy rode down the bluff,
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“TWO SHORT SKINNY mochas—shock
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These two men—from such polarized
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This has never happened before. Roy
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also has a head of frothy, brown cu
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outstretched hand. She has had enou
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MIST PREVAILS in Seattle throughout
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thumpthumpthump Not far from the he
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when they see one, so that should b
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ROY’S EYES POP OPEN. He had been
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The man inside 28/RR took the bait!
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accordance with the Lavese Las Mano
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The Old Cowboy looked down on the t
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ROY STANDS BEFORE 28/RR, right hand
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Doughy clouds thicken with light. M
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And here’s how it happened… FLA
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him and it uses his name. He places
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stair are more likely to become fri
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The guy turns and glares. And, for
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something that vaguely haunts him f
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the song had sounded so much nicer
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notice what everyone else on the si
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A tumbleweed tumbles weedily. Off i
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taught to do this at the secret Bar
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promises that one day they, too, sh
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Roy’s decision to go home may see
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“CLICK” Roy Stands before 28/RR
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Does Roy lower his hand and slink a
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The strawberry roan nodded and snor
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THE OCCUPANT OF 2 /RR, bless him, m
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his shoulders. It seems like a coup
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Best not to annoy the bald dude. Mi
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He takes a breath, licks his lips a
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fisherman trying to land a fish too
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ROY’S BRAIN has a remarkable memo
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the Odd Duck Club, a short-lived mu
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general public, they almost made it
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hosed it all away, washed it down h
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o-lay-dee-o-day-lay-de-o-day-lay-de
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The Old Cowboy wrapped the reins on
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The other hands at the bar returned
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“I dint come in here for no troub
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WHEN DAWN COMES to the quartzite sk
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into Lake Washington. They get shot
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Old Guy backs up a bit—his gun ne
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Finally, besides blinking, Roy can
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Like a piece of origami, Old Guy’
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Young Guy nods. “Yeah, sure.” O
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Old Guy keeps on smiling. He stands
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The stuff Old Guy’s offering isn
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“Yodel yodel yeah hee ay.” Did
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Roy leans forward, elbows on knees.
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ROY MAKES it. Afterwards, he makes
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He squares his shoulders. He opens
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Mel flutters and flutes. “He not
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The Old Cowboy dropped his scarred
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darkness, his mother and brother wo
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ROY WORRIES the loose change in his
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to leotards, from hair spiked to ha
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And leads him to a far-off, seldom
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ecause he buys a CD player. It’s
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It’s too late to turn tail now. H
Page 231 and 232: Roy moistens his lips. The image of
Page 233 and 234: “You won’t regret it.” Roy pr
Page 235 and 236: “With tax, it comes to $188.97.
Page 237 and 238: “What’s this so-called friend
Page 239 and 240: Rick closes the blade and chuckles.
Page 241 and 242: Her name was Mathilde Oliphante Dou
Page 243 and 244: Since this was principally cattle c
Page 245 and 246: “GO ON, ROY—DRAW!” Roy finds
Page 247 and 248: He tries to focus on Pete’s gun h
Page 249 and 250: “Let’s try somethin’ differen
Page 251 and 252: Pete rewinds the movie. “First—
Page 253 and 254: It is what o’time in the whenever
Page 255 and 256: Pete nudges. Holds out the joint. S
Page 257 and 258: did. With the exception, of course,
Page 259 and 260: At thirteen, he stood tall and broa
Page 261 and 262: she knew was she needed her loved o
Page 263 and 264: “RAOUL WALSH is where we’ll sta
Page 265 and 266: theatre was about to invest in 70mm
Page 267 and 268: “When we gonna watch that?” “
Page 269 and 270: That would be rude. But it’s what
Page 271 and 272: Sorrow followed like an old scoldin
Page 273 and 274: Wilson, a bilious-appearing man, lo
Page 275 and 276: “THE SONS FIRST appeared in a 193
Page 277 and 278: His own, personal joint. Imagine th
Page 279 and 280: Judge Roy Bean will never leave the
Page 281: “You got the look of a man whose
Page 285 and 286: squeak He is still dressed, having
Page 287 and 288: “Yeah.” Rick’s eyes narrow.
Page 289 and 290: “And, fuckin’ A—I’m not you
Page 291 and 292: “That is, if he had any—haha.
Page 293 and 294: From beneath the shadow cast by his
Page 295 and 296: “No, sir.” “Very well. You li
Page 297 and 298: “ROY ROGERS was th’ real deal.
Page 299 and 300: Her eyes, like the sky, start to mi
Page 301 and 302: Pete mixes runny eggs with hash bro
Page 303 and 304: Watching Pete unzip the pouch, Roy
Page 305 and 306: “What’s eatin’ you?” Roy sh
Page 307 and 308: From Ft. Belknap, on their journey
Page 309 and 310: The Young Cowboy, with a look to hi
Page 311 and 312: A BUG-EYED black boy opens the pick
Page 313 and 314: hairs from his ears. Not all mind y
Page 315 and 316: He studies Pete from head to toe.
Page 317 and 318: Mel holds erect the selfsame, still
Page 319 and 320: daddy wasn’t drunk and beating on
Page 321 and 322: “Where’s the wine? You drink it
Page 323 and 324: dread “—I told you to bring des
Page 325 and 326: lobbied by lower thoughts, swell ch
Page 327 and 328: Pete snorts. “Or Tom Mix, Gene Au
Page 329 and 330: Pete slides his chair out from unde
Page 331 and 332: “You!” Pete turns and stares at
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Roy squeezes his eyes together. Col
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THE END OF VOLUME ONE ROY ROGERS IN
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THE ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS Blue Shadows o
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FROM VOLUME TWO Sentimental? Is Roy
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