volume one IN THE D U D L E Y C L A R K - Ohio Vine Tours

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The door slams shut. bang Roy’s stands there, his mouth sagged open in disbelief, staring at the slammed shut door and listening to the clunks of two or three hundred deadbolts locking him out. Perhaps forever. 1 0 ROY ROGERS IN THE 21ST CENTURY
ROY’S BRAIN has a remarkable memory. Unlike most people, he has to work at forgetting. Otherwise, his memories—which, for the most part, he is not fond of—would crawl out of their dark, dank crannies and wreak havoc on his life. Once, when Roy was driving to a cleaning job on the Eastside in J.J.’s blue 1992 Aerostar, the radio played Green Eyed Lady, by Sugarloaf. Instantly, he flashed on a cold morning one April when the frost looked like God had dusted sugar over everything and he was maybe four years old and still asleep and someone started stabbing a butcher knife into the cardboard box he was in. Whoever it was, was screaming profanities about Roy and his family and how they weren’t really human beings, and that the planet Earth needed to be cleansed of them—but that didn’t stop Roy from hearing what was playing on the radio in the guy’s car, its headlights blinding them as they scrambled from sleep to escape the freezing blade of his butcher knife. Green eyed lady, passion’s lady Dressed in love, she lives for life to be— What else makes Roy’s brain remarkable is just this—: most of his memories are linked to music. One of the reasons he likes Punk and Glam is because it holds no memories—most of the nightmare that was his childhood is associated with Rock ’n’ Roll. One of the reasons he hates Van Morrison—that is, besides his voice and how he looks and the stupid songs he sings—is this—: Rick was really into him during what turned out to be a ROY ROGERS IN THE 21ST CENTURY 1 1
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volume one ROY ROGERS IN THE TWENTY
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What readers are saying... “Defin
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THE DEDICATION For her forbearance
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THE OPENING QUOTATION I’ve labore
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THE RED FOR RENT sign stops him dea
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The Old Cowboy didn’t know the na
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ROY’S KNUCKLES TAP gently upon th
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duties of her office demand, or the
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The Old Cowboy could rest now. His
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ROY DROPS HIS DUFFLE, and causes hi
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For, Roy is a window washer. He cou
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watched them hanging there, what a
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RAIN PELTS the windowpanes. Tears f
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ROY ROGERS IN THE 21ST CENTURY 1
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The Old Cowboy rose before the sun,
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BLUE, BLUE SKY. White, white clouds
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cry. His ears fill with Rick’s ca
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A WATERY BLUE, BLEARY blue, bleary
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approach of footsteps, or the slam
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two letters. They appear to have be
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ROY LOVES HIS MUSIC. It is the sust
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WAILING WALL is a downtown music st
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to the right of his navel, and bene
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man’s Frank Zappa mustache before
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“You make me come after your hair
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There were times when the Old Cowbo
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GEORGETOWN WAS NOT always hemmed in
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ackfired and Georgetown became even
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THE SONY TAPE PLAYER attached to Ro
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fans. Maybe, this being his later l
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A prime number, and one he’s happ
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BLUE LIGHT FROM a cloud-eclipsed mo
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GROGGY, GRAY, GROANING Roy rises fr
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feathered nether regions of their a
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FOR ROY, moving into the Outside Wo
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Roy may well be the perfected incar
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Crouched on an outcrop of granite,
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ROY’S PLAN IS SIMPLE, almost of n
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Especially Rick the Asshole, and so
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sense. And that doesn’t happen a
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He pulls the cord and stands up. Ro
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underwear. It’s a regular place f
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asement. Ammonia fumes from years a
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Her big eyes shimmer. “Sh. He mig
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“S-Sure.” “Will that be all f
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He’s already bought the groceries
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The living room is swell. Real neat
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Mel pouts. “Hey, you’re not Bra
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Meanwhile, far across the kitchen,
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The Old Cowboy rode down the bluff,
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“TWO SHORT SKINNY mochas—shock
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These two men—from such polarized
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This has never happened before. Roy
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also has a head of frothy, brown cu
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outstretched hand. She has had enou
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MIST PREVAILS in Seattle throughout
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thumpthumpthump Not far from the he
Page 123 and 124: when they see one, so that should b
Page 125 and 126: ROY’S EYES POP OPEN. He had been
Page 127 and 128: The man inside 28/RR took the bait!
Page 129 and 130: accordance with the Lavese Las Mano
Page 131 and 132: The Old Cowboy looked down on the t
Page 133 and 134: ROY STANDS BEFORE 28/RR, right hand
Page 135 and 136: Doughy clouds thicken with light. M
Page 137 and 138: And here’s how it happened… FLA
Page 139 and 140: him and it uses his name. He places
Page 141 and 142: stair are more likely to become fri
Page 143 and 144: The guy turns and glares. And, for
Page 145 and 146: something that vaguely haunts him f
Page 147 and 148: the song had sounded so much nicer
Page 149 and 150: notice what everyone else on the si
Page 151 and 152: A tumbleweed tumbles weedily. Off i
Page 153 and 154: taught to do this at the secret Bar
Page 155 and 156: promises that one day they, too, sh
Page 157 and 158: Roy’s decision to go home may see
Page 159 and 160: “CLICK” Roy Stands before 28/RR
Page 161 and 162: Does Roy lower his hand and slink a
Page 163 and 164: The strawberry roan nodded and snor
Page 165 and 166: THE OCCUPANT OF 2 /RR, bless him, m
Page 167 and 168: his shoulders. It seems like a coup
Page 169 and 170: Best not to annoy the bald dude. Mi
Page 171 and 172: He takes a breath, licks his lips a
Page 173: fisherman trying to land a fish too
Page 177 and 178: the Odd Duck Club, a short-lived mu
Page 179 and 180: general public, they almost made it
Page 181 and 182: hosed it all away, washed it down h
Page 183 and 184: o-lay-dee-o-day-lay-de-o-day-lay-de
Page 185 and 186: The Old Cowboy wrapped the reins on
Page 187 and 188: The other hands at the bar returned
Page 189 and 190: “I dint come in here for no troub
Page 191 and 192: WHEN DAWN COMES to the quartzite sk
Page 193 and 194: into Lake Washington. They get shot
Page 195 and 196: Old Guy backs up a bit—his gun ne
Page 197 and 198: Finally, besides blinking, Roy can
Page 199 and 200: Like a piece of origami, Old Guy’
Page 201 and 202: Young Guy nods. “Yeah, sure.” O
Page 203 and 204: Old Guy keeps on smiling. He stands
Page 205 and 206: The stuff Old Guy’s offering isn
Page 207 and 208: “Yodel yodel yeah hee ay.” Did
Page 209 and 210: Roy leans forward, elbows on knees.
Page 211 and 212: ROY MAKES it. Afterwards, he makes
Page 213 and 214: He squares his shoulders. He opens
Page 215 and 216: Mel flutters and flutes. “He not
Page 217 and 218: The Old Cowboy dropped his scarred
Page 219 and 220: darkness, his mother and brother wo
Page 221 and 222: ROY WORRIES the loose change in his
Page 223 and 224: to leotards, from hair spiked to ha
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And leads him to a far-off, seldom
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ecause he buys a CD player. It’s
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It’s too late to turn tail now. H
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Roy moistens his lips. The image of
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“You won’t regret it.” Roy pr
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“With tax, it comes to $188.97.
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“What’s this so-called friend
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Rick closes the blade and chuckles.
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Her name was Mathilde Oliphante Dou
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Since this was principally cattle c
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“GO ON, ROY—DRAW!” Roy finds
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He tries to focus on Pete’s gun h
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“Let’s try somethin’ differen
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Pete rewinds the movie. “First—
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It is what o’time in the whenever
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Pete nudges. Holds out the joint. S
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did. With the exception, of course,
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At thirteen, he stood tall and broa
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she knew was she needed her loved o
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“RAOUL WALSH is where we’ll sta
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theatre was about to invest in 70mm
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“When we gonna watch that?” “
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That would be rude. But it’s what
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Sorrow followed like an old scoldin
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Wilson, a bilious-appearing man, lo
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“THE SONS FIRST appeared in a 193
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His own, personal joint. Imagine th
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Judge Roy Bean will never leave the
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“You got the look of a man whose
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“SERGEANT WESTON!” “Suh!”
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squeak He is still dressed, having
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“Yeah.” Rick’s eyes narrow.
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“And, fuckin’ A—I’m not you
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“That is, if he had any—haha.
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From beneath the shadow cast by his
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“No, sir.” “Very well. You li
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“ROY ROGERS was th’ real deal.
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Her eyes, like the sky, start to mi
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Pete mixes runny eggs with hash bro
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Watching Pete unzip the pouch, Roy
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“What’s eatin’ you?” Roy sh
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From Ft. Belknap, on their journey
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The Young Cowboy, with a look to hi
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A BUG-EYED black boy opens the pick
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hairs from his ears. Not all mind y
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He studies Pete from head to toe.
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Mel holds erect the selfsame, still
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daddy wasn’t drunk and beating on
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“Where’s the wine? You drink it
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dread “—I told you to bring des
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lobbied by lower thoughts, swell ch
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Pete snorts. “Or Tom Mix, Gene Au
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Pete slides his chair out from unde
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“You!” Pete turns and stares at
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Roy squeezes his eyes together. Col
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THE END OF VOLUME ONE ROY ROGERS IN
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THE ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS Blue Shadows o
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FROM VOLUME TWO Sentimental? Is Roy
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volume one IN THE D U D L E Y C L A R K - Ohio Vine Tours

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