volume one IN THE D U D L E Y C L A R K - Ohio Vine Tours

course, by the time he thinks of something to say it’s way too late
to say it. He could, if he thought it was worth the trouble, always
write it down and keep it in his pocket for another time. There
will always be another time. But Roy’s heart is not a vengeful
one, nor is he a hateful man (except, perhaps, when it comes to
Yuppie Scum), nor does he always have to win, or come out on
top, or jockey for the limelight.
Roy’s Way is to fade, to forget, to forge ahead.
But that is not Rick’s Way.
For Rick, every slight, real or imagined (and most are) is
magnified into a monstrous deed deserving of lengthy, loud,
hate-filled diatribes and outlandish schemes to kill or maim—
bloodchilling schemes worthy of Charles Manson or Freddy
Kruger. Rick carries a switch blade he likes to snap open and
stick in Roy’s face when he’s pissed off. And he’s pissed off a lot.
He knows knives scare the shit out of Roy, that’s why he went
to the trouble of getting one—to scare the shit out of Roy. Roy
couldn’t recall ever seeing his brother threaten anyone else with
it. But, even though it scares the shit out of him, Roy doesn’t
think Rick would ever actually use it, not really, not unless he’s
pushed too far. The question, then, of course, becomes this:
how far can Rick be pushed? Not that Roy has any intention of
finding out. It’s just an unpleasant question that crops up from
time to time.
(Rick has a tattoo on his left forearm of a tarantula with fangs
like a saber-toothed tiger. On his back is a tattoo of Elvis hung
on a cross. He also has one of a snake that coils up his right leg,
its head snooping around inside his BVDs. On his right bicep is
a picture of a mermaid spreading her legs for an octopus with a
giant—)
“Roy!”
Roy’s eyes snap open.
“Roy!”
He shakes his head and tries to remember where he is. He
is on a bus; he is on his way to Mel’s; he has to get off, now; this
is his stop; he must pull the cord, and be quick about it and, of
course, stand up.
2 ROY ROGERS IN THE 21ST CENTURY