volume one IN THE D U D L E Y C L A R K - Ohio Vine Tours

upon Roy’s gleaming baldness before he noticed her. Now
that he has feasted his eyes on her, and uttered his single, solid
monosyllable, she stands.
Her unfettered breasts caper and frolic.
“You sure? We’re having a big, big sale.”
Roy tries to recall if he has ever seen violet eyes before.
“OK.”
Much less breasts that caper and frolic.
Damn. That was a mistake. He shouldn’t have said OK.
Roy is annoyed. Roy is resigned. He knows an unwanted
conversation has begun.
“A whopping thirty percent off!” Debi’s breasts thrash about,
excited by this news. “Buy one, get one free!”
Briefly, Roy wonders if she means her breasts.
He looks from Debi’s stack to his own. He holds six CDs—oh,
she meant buy one CD, get one CD free—so he’ll only have to
pay for three. And he gets a CD player at a whopping thirty
percent off.
Debi bats her violet eyes.
Debi knows exactly what Roy’s thinking.
Debi dimples.
But Debi doesn’t say another word.
She knows the next one who speaks, loses.
She also knows all about her violet eyes, sees them every
morning in the mirror as she studiously avoids applying makeup.
She’s aware of her perfect complexion and to-die-for nose, has
but to close her eyes to bring to mind the fetching lines of her
profile. She’s one of the Lucky Ones. She perfectly fits the
currently-desirable body type for girls. Her limbs are long and
slender, and her ass is practically a boy’s (every morning she
struggles into skintight pants to show it off).
And, almost as an afterthought—a sort of libidinal
lagniappe—the Good Lord has seen fit to throw in a brace of
perky breasts.
She is what every man desires, but none may have.
For, Debi is a lesbian.
Roy stacks his CDs on the counter. The cellophane that
wraps them is moist from his sweaty palms.
21 ROY ROGERS IN THE 21ST CENTURY