volume one IN THE D U D L E Y C L A R K - Ohio Vine Tours

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His tongue, squiggling inside his mouth, ties into a knot. He removes his knuckles from the door’s cool surface. A concrete cloud casts a mighty shadow. Then the worst thing in the world that could possibly happen happens—the door to the B THRO M opens. So ferociously focused on 28/RR had he been that he had not thought to see if the little room was occupied. Taken by surprise, his eyes bulge and his head jerks away from 28/RR—that slab of wood that stalls his pilgrim’s progress—to stare slack-jawed at the man who has opened the little door at the end of the hall, who has exited from said room, having switched off its sad, solitary light, and who now drips water onto the crusty, red runner they both share. Of course, it is none other than the occupant of 28/RR. Of course. His head is wrapped in the same cool towel, or one like it, as is his body below the armpits—those same, cool towels that had so piqued Roy’s curiosity, covered as they are with little Cowboys on horses chasing little Indians on horses. The occupant of 28/RR is every bit as surprised by the sight of Roy standing before his door as Roy is surprised by the sight of the occupant of 28/RR posed before the door of the B THRO M. To Roy, as to the occupant of 28/RR—both positioned in the same hall, both gawking at the distant other, one damp from outdoor downpour, the other moist from indoor ablutions, the walls deadening sound from the so-called real world—it seems as if a lifetime passes, several in fact. Whole generations come and go. Old species long familiar become extinct. Stars rotate faster and faster, their pinlights creating blurry trails. The building tumbles down around them, a new interstate passes through, automobiles flash past, their colors smudged with speed. Trees drop nuts that thrive, shoot up into trees that drop nuts that thrive and shoot up into trees. Days pass faster and faster, the sun bouncing up and down like an incandescent pumpkin on a spring. It is a situation from which no one can emerge the victor. 1 ROY ROGERS IN THE 21ST CENTURY
Does Roy lower his hand and slink away, face the color of putty, back to his room whence he came, where he will pack his duffle to leave the building forever? Does the occupant of 28/RR duck back into the B THRO M to stand in its dark embrace, waiting for Roy’s Royness to evaporate? Perhaps Eternity is like this—a stretched rubber band forever about to snap. In any case, it is a situation from which no one can emerge the victor. ROY ROGERS IN THE 21ST CENTURY 1
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volume one ROY ROGERS IN THE TWENTY
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What readers are saying... “Defin
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THE DEDICATION For her forbearance
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THE OPENING QUOTATION I’ve labore
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THE RED FOR RENT sign stops him dea
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The Old Cowboy didn’t know the na
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ROY’S KNUCKLES TAP gently upon th
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duties of her office demand, or the
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The Old Cowboy could rest now. His
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ROY DROPS HIS DUFFLE, and causes hi
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For, Roy is a window washer. He cou
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watched them hanging there, what a
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RAIN PELTS the windowpanes. Tears f
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ROY ROGERS IN THE 21ST CENTURY 1
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The Old Cowboy rose before the sun,
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BLUE, BLUE SKY. White, white clouds
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cry. His ears fill with Rick’s ca
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A WATERY BLUE, BLEARY blue, bleary
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approach of footsteps, or the slam
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two letters. They appear to have be
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ROY LOVES HIS MUSIC. It is the sust
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WAILING WALL is a downtown music st
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to the right of his navel, and bene
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man’s Frank Zappa mustache before
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“You make me come after your hair
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There were times when the Old Cowbo
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GEORGETOWN WAS NOT always hemmed in
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ackfired and Georgetown became even
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THE SONY TAPE PLAYER attached to Ro
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fans. Maybe, this being his later l
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A prime number, and one he’s happ
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BLUE LIGHT FROM a cloud-eclipsed mo
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GROGGY, GRAY, GROANING Roy rises fr
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feathered nether regions of their a
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FOR ROY, moving into the Outside Wo
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Roy may well be the perfected incar
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Crouched on an outcrop of granite,
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ROY’S PLAN IS SIMPLE, almost of n
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Especially Rick the Asshole, and so
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sense. And that doesn’t happen a
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He pulls the cord and stands up. Ro
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underwear. It’s a regular place f
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asement. Ammonia fumes from years a
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Her big eyes shimmer. “Sh. He mig
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“S-Sure.” “Will that be all f
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He’s already bought the groceries
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The living room is swell. Real neat
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Mel pouts. “Hey, you’re not Bra
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Meanwhile, far across the kitchen,
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The Old Cowboy rode down the bluff,
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Page 113 and 114: This has never happened before. Roy
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Page 117 and 118: outstretched hand. She has had enou
Page 119 and 120: MIST PREVAILS in Seattle throughout
Page 121 and 122: thumpthumpthump Not far from the he
Page 123 and 124: when they see one, so that should b
Page 125 and 126: ROY’S EYES POP OPEN. He had been
Page 127 and 128: The man inside 28/RR took the bait!
Page 129 and 130: accordance with the Lavese Las Mano
Page 131 and 132: The Old Cowboy looked down on the t
Page 133 and 134: ROY STANDS BEFORE 28/RR, right hand
Page 135 and 136: Doughy clouds thicken with light. M
Page 137 and 138: And here’s how it happened… FLA
Page 139 and 140: him and it uses his name. He places
Page 141 and 142: stair are more likely to become fri
Page 143 and 144: The guy turns and glares. And, for
Page 145 and 146: something that vaguely haunts him f
Page 147 and 148: the song had sounded so much nicer
Page 149 and 150: notice what everyone else on the si
Page 151 and 152: A tumbleweed tumbles weedily. Off i
Page 153 and 154: taught to do this at the secret Bar
Page 155 and 156: promises that one day they, too, sh
Page 157 and 158: Roy’s decision to go home may see
Page 159: “CLICK” Roy Stands before 28/RR
Page 163 and 164: The strawberry roan nodded and snor
Page 165 and 166: THE OCCUPANT OF 2 /RR, bless him, m
Page 167 and 168: his shoulders. It seems like a coup
Page 169 and 170: Best not to annoy the bald dude. Mi
Page 171 and 172: He takes a breath, licks his lips a
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Page 175 and 176: ROY’S BRAIN has a remarkable memo
Page 177 and 178: the Odd Duck Club, a short-lived mu
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Page 181 and 182: hosed it all away, washed it down h
Page 183 and 184: o-lay-dee-o-day-lay-de-o-day-lay-de
Page 185 and 186: The Old Cowboy wrapped the reins on
Page 187 and 188: The other hands at the bar returned
Page 189 and 190: “I dint come in here for no troub
Page 191 and 192: WHEN DAWN COMES to the quartzite sk
Page 193 and 194: into Lake Washington. They get shot
Page 195 and 196: Old Guy backs up a bit—his gun ne
Page 197 and 198: Finally, besides blinking, Roy can
Page 199 and 200: Like a piece of origami, Old Guy’
Page 201 and 202: Young Guy nods. “Yeah, sure.” O
Page 203 and 204: Old Guy keeps on smiling. He stands
Page 205 and 206: The stuff Old Guy’s offering isn
Page 207 and 208: “Yodel yodel yeah hee ay.” Did
Page 209 and 210: Roy leans forward, elbows on knees.
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ROY MAKES it. Afterwards, he makes
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He squares his shoulders. He opens
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Mel flutters and flutes. “He not
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The Old Cowboy dropped his scarred
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darkness, his mother and brother wo
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ROY WORRIES the loose change in his
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to leotards, from hair spiked to ha
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And leads him to a far-off, seldom
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ecause he buys a CD player. It’s
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It’s too late to turn tail now. H
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Roy moistens his lips. The image of
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“You won’t regret it.” Roy pr
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“With tax, it comes to $188.97.
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“What’s this so-called friend
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Rick closes the blade and chuckles.
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Her name was Mathilde Oliphante Dou
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Since this was principally cattle c
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“GO ON, ROY—DRAW!” Roy finds
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He tries to focus on Pete’s gun h
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“Let’s try somethin’ differen
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Pete rewinds the movie. “First—
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It is what o’time in the whenever
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Pete nudges. Holds out the joint. S
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did. With the exception, of course,
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At thirteen, he stood tall and broa
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she knew was she needed her loved o
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“RAOUL WALSH is where we’ll sta
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theatre was about to invest in 70mm
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“When we gonna watch that?” “
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That would be rude. But it’s what
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Sorrow followed like an old scoldin
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Wilson, a bilious-appearing man, lo
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“THE SONS FIRST appeared in a 193
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His own, personal joint. Imagine th
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Judge Roy Bean will never leave the
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“You got the look of a man whose
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“SERGEANT WESTON!” “Suh!”
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squeak He is still dressed, having
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“Yeah.” Rick’s eyes narrow.
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“And, fuckin’ A—I’m not you
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“That is, if he had any—haha.
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From beneath the shadow cast by his
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“No, sir.” “Very well. You li
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“ROY ROGERS was th’ real deal.
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Her eyes, like the sky, start to mi
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Pete mixes runny eggs with hash bro
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Watching Pete unzip the pouch, Roy
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“What’s eatin’ you?” Roy sh
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From Ft. Belknap, on their journey
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The Young Cowboy, with a look to hi
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A BUG-EYED black boy opens the pick
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hairs from his ears. Not all mind y
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He studies Pete from head to toe.
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Mel holds erect the selfsame, still
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daddy wasn’t drunk and beating on
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“Where’s the wine? You drink it
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dread “—I told you to bring des
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lobbied by lower thoughts, swell ch
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Pete snorts. “Or Tom Mix, Gene Au
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Pete slides his chair out from unde
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“You!” Pete turns and stares at
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Roy squeezes his eyes together. Col
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THE END OF VOLUME ONE ROY ROGERS IN
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THE ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS Blue Shadows o
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FROM VOLUME TWO Sentimental? Is Roy
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