volume one IN THE D U D L E Y C L A R K - Ohio Vine Tours

his shoulders. It seems like a couple hundred miles lie between
them, instead of a couple dozen feet.
The occupant of 28/RR speaks in a low, gravelly growl.
“If you’re sellin’, I ain’t buyin’. If you’re a Bible-thumper,
I’ll as like shoot you as not. I paid rent for th’ year, don’t owe
nobody nothin’. Now how’s about you step away from my door
while you still can, pardner?”
Roy’s face fills with commotion.
“I—uh. Uh. I—”
He starts to shuffle backwards, in the general direction of his
room.
The beauty thing about not owning a bunch of crap—you can
pack your bag and be in transit in roughly twenty seconds.
And next time, if indeed there is a next time—and Life so far
has taught Roy that there usually is, until of course your supply
of next times runs out—next time, if indeed there is a next time,
he promises not to talk with strangers, always to keep to himself,
and never, ever hatch plans, no matter how cool they may seem.
Beads of sweat glisten on his baldness.
Outside, it’s still November. Inside, who knows?
“I—uh. I was. I was just—uh.”
After all, he still has Suzi Quattro. After all, he still has his
health and all his old tunes.
Maybe he doesn’t need to start listening to new shit, after all.
It never occurs to Roy that he isn’t doing anything wrong, or
that he’s the bigger and stronger of the pair, or that the old guy
is barely dressed and can only use one arm without dropping
his towel. Clearly, he fails to grasp his advantages. He has
been conditioned by years spent with an abusive brother to view
himself as a helpless, hapless, harebrained twit.
“I—uh. I was just. This—”
A thought elbows its way onto Roy’s small, under-lit stage:
maybe if I give the old guy his tape back, he’ll leave me alone.
Roy directs his hands to meet at his waist.
The wet, grizzled, towel-wrapped oldster sees them heading
south and draws in a sharp breath—is he going for his gun?
Does he have a hideaway in that little, black box?
And him with boots off and gun hanging on the wall.
ROY ROGERS IN THE 21ST CENTURY 1