Exemplars of Evil

Illus. by J. Chan
64
ad, these’n ain’t like otha pirates. They do’an care nun
’bout plunder. They jes’ essoon walk passa pile o’ coin
to put a knife in yer gullet and laugh as yeh cry fer
yer mamma. These’n cutthroats er the scourge o’ da
seas, an if nah stop’d, thell be da doom of us all.”
—Captain Daniel “The Daft” Simone,
dread pirate
In ports and harbors across the sea, the crimson
sails of the Much Kill inspire terror in all who behold
them. The ship is piloted by bloodthirsty, mutated
goblinoids. These foul raiders descend on coastal
villages to loot, kill, and take slaves, and spill blood
in the hold of their vessel to appease the appalling
beast they carry. None of their dastardly exploits
would be possible, though, without the cruel command
of Captain Gnash, one of the nastiest pirates
ever to sail the seas.
BACKGROUND
Captain Gnash came to piracy late in life. Before
developing his reputation for merciless villainy,
the bugbear was a minor thug employed by an
ogre warlord known as Scab. His lot was to guard
the voracious leader, protect him against attacks
by ambitious lieutenants, and ensure that no one
disturbed him when he tortured slaves in the
privacy of his tent. Gnash would not have been sorry to
see Scab dead—indeed, he had his own plans to overthrow
the ogre—but he knew that none of Scab’s lieutenants
would be any better as the leader of the group, so he served,
waited, and plotted.
Fate intervened when Scab declared his intent to raze a
human city, believing it was a task set before him by his
deity. In return for their service, the ogre leader promised
his legions “much killing” and plunder, and a chance to
butcher soft, spoiled humans. Some of the soldiers had
reservations, fearing that such an open attack might
provoke a wider war that could result in their annihilation.
However, Scab’s convictions were powerful, and the
chance to visit suffering on the hated humans was too
tempting to ignore. Thus, the warlord’s armies marched
through leagues of dense jungles, impelled by their blood
lust. Like spilled ink across a map, the goblinoids streamed
out of the undergrowth and fell upon the unsuspecting
coastal city.
Goblin sappers burrowed beneath the high stone walls,
while disciplined hobgoblin soldiers stormed the gates.
Gnash and his fellow bugbears led the charge against the
ramparts, scrambling up crude ladders to cut through the
unprepared defenders. It was not long before the humans
fell back; thus began the slaughter.
After three bloody days of fighting, the city belonged to
the goblinoids—but Captain Scab had led his legions to
victory at the cost of his own life. Now leaderless, the army