THE AVATAR IN PANAMA - Theses - Flinders University

3.3 Reinventing the Double The Avatar in Panamalos fragmentos que me contaste mientras esperábamos en la sala noeran más que anticipaciones de lo que te hubiera gustado que ahísucediera (59). Raymundo admits to “una noche de alcohol y sexodesaforado, habiéndonos turnado varias veces con la chica”. Thenadmits it is the draft of a story which he has been recounting (59):Desde entonces siempre he tenido elpresentimiento la necesidad, sería más exactode que volvería a encontrar a Roxana. ¿Sabespor qué deseaba revivir todo aquello(incluyendo el riesgo de un final semejante)?Porque lo que te he venido contando no es másque la síntesis de un relato que escribí haceaños, y en ese sentido lo viví una y otra vez.Uno tiene fantasías, ¿sabes? Locuras que nobasta con realizar en la imaginación. Quiseencuazarlas aprovechando un azar que estatarde parecía hecho a la medida, rellenando lospuntos débiles (60).His confession is a rationale; that there will always be theexpectation of a double ending in which either of the two scenarios mayoccur. “Puliendo aquel relato y fundiéndole con lo que hoy nos pasó, alo mejor sale algo interesante. Y tal vez llegue un momento,deliciosamente ambiguo” (60). The doubling can be applied to hisoriginality as he is trying to overturn the natural order of events. Aspiringauthor Raymundo has transcribed his imagined reality into fiction whichhe attempts to enact making it then fodder for reality: his fiction ismaterial for the fabricated real which in its turn becomes his fiction. In“Síntesis corregida y aumentada”, Raymundo wants to experience thatwhich he has attempted to create. He exploits modern componentssuch as coincidence, sexual desire and repetition-compulsion.A unique treatment of writing and doubling is found in “El reto”(LTG) which is actually two stories at once on the same level as thereader. 64 Initially it seems the narrator is about to share a secret with thereader which immediately puts the latter on side. “El reto” begins with aman making a confession some twenty one years later about akidnapping he witnessed, which resulted in the subsequentdisappearance and murder of a young woman. There is a build up tothe enormity of the admission: “Traté de convencerme de que todohabía sido un sueño […] Tal vez mi tardío testimonio pueda cambiaralgo, aunque yo mismo sea otro, y débiles mis recuerdos” (95). Thenarrator claims to have recorded notes, physical descriptions, andconversations of what took place shortly after the incident but has64 “El reto” also appears as “El secuestro de Carmen”, in En un abrir y cerrar de ojos113-124256