Licking the Razor's Edge (2015)

Addiction #28 – Freedom from CONFLICT
“Ego is the insistent self. Ego is the need to control — the need to be approved — the
need to judge — the need to be right — the need to protect ourselves at all costs — to
need to attack all that threatens. Ad the Ego feels constantly threatened. Every situation
is a battleground for personal survival, and every other person is an enemy until he or
she proves otherwise. Ego lives from crisis to crisis. It is addicted to taking offense … It
is addicted to conflict.” ~ inspired by Sharon (a.k.a. “A Leaf in Springtime”)
“He who attacks always falls.” ~ George Leonard
It is fitting that our examination of conflict comes right on the heels of having identified
our areas of arrogance, for these two addictions are intimately interconnected. Just as
lessening one’s arrogance will lessen the severity of one’s conflicts in life, so too will the
letting go of one’s conflicts automatically lessen the overall intensity of one’s pride. And
yet before we identify some of the ways we can free ourselves from conflict and the
suffering it brings, we must first identify the places in our lives where conflict has quietly
– often unnoticeably – taken root.
For starters, it is important to note that we are not merely focusing on physical or verbal
abuse when we speak of “conflict”. Indeed, there are many types of aggression that are
just as harmful as any physical altercation (if not more so), and many of them are so
subtle that we don’t even notice them …
RECOGNIZING our ADDICTION to CONFLICT
It is not only nations that go to war. We too “do battle” on a daily basis – we too, each &
every one of us, are addicted to choosing competition over cooperation, ostracizing over
openness, and aggression over acceptance. Consider the following questions:
*Do you see your workplace more as a source of stress than a source of enjoyment?
*Do you refer to companies similar to yours as “competitors”?
*Do you compare your looks (or your fitness, or your social status, or your intelligence)
to others?
*Do you establish “healthy boundaries” in any of your relationships in order to make sure
you get your “fair share” of appreciation or affection?
*Do you argue with others more than once a month?
*Do you debate moral, political or philosophical issues with friends or associates?
*Do you enjoy “winning” arguments?
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