Licking the Razor's Edge (2015)

THE CONSEQUENCES OF BEING ADDICTED
Romance is a very powerful addiction and as such it has some very serious consequences.
We are not merely talking about “broken hearts” and mild discontent here. Unresolved
patterns of dysfunctional relationships lead to the development of other addictions to
mask its pains & discontents (e.g. alcoholism, drug addiction, eating disorders, sex
addiction, etc). Even more importantly, we are talking about the loss of the greatest Gift
given to all humankind – the Bliss that comes from truly, deeply and unconditionally
LOVING another being. As long as we are mired in a “love addiction”, our ability to trilu
Care for others will remain essentially impotent, and our ability to experience a sincerely
Meaning-full life will be clouded as well.
“Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don’t know how to replenish
its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and
wounds; it dies of weariness, of witherings, of tarnishings.” ~ Anias Nin
HOW TO TELL WHERE YOU ARE ADDICTED
The first step towards removing any addiction in your life is having the humility to take a
step back and recognize that addiction. To help you do so, I am going to pose a few
questions for you … While answering them, please remember when you do so that facing
your addictions is not about judging yourself as “bad” or “broken”. Rather, it is about
having the courage to identify where you are keeping your True Self from blossoming
forth, which is the first step on the path to setting that True Self free. Almost every single
person I have ever met (including myself) is a “love addict” to one degree or another.
This doesn’t make us “inferior” or “weak”. It is simply the way we have been
programmed. And yet, because we are conscious beings, we are also allowed to change
those programs; to replace them with behaviors that bring us Joy instead of sadness, and
Peace instead of pain.
So, on with the questions … Consider the following:
*Do you feel like you are doing “more than your fair share” in your relationship? Do you
see a clear lack of balance between how much you are giving and how much you are
receiving?
*Do you feel like your partner controls your life, or maybe you feel that your partner
must follow certain rules to “show their love” for you?
*Do you change your own beliefs for sacrifice your own values for the relationship, or
maybe you encourage the same from your partner?
*Do you feel anxious whenever apart from your partner, or maybe you feel anxious about
returning to him/her after a separation?
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