Licking the Razor's Edge (2015)

Addiction #03 – Freedom from CAFFEINE
“Way too much coffee. But if it weren’t for the coffee, I’d have no identifiable
personality whatsoever.” ~ David Letterman
Back in August of 2008, I was asked to volunteer as a luggage porter for Ride Idaho, a
400+ mile bicycle tour through some of the most beautiful landscapes in the United
States. Essentially, it was my job to help break camp every morning, load the cyclists’
luggage onto a truck, and then ride ahead to unload their luggage and set up the next
camp. This part of the job proved to be no problem whatsoever, and was actually lots of
fun.
The trouble began with the coffee …
You see, I happen to be a “morning person”, and at the time I also happened to love to
drink good coffee. So naturally, I volunteered to be responsible for getting up early every
morning to set up the huge coffee pots that we had brought with us and brew the cyclists
their pre-ride cup of mud.
Everything went smoothly for the first few days. These were very nice people, gathered
together to do something they found to be fun – all surrounded by some of the most
stunning scenery that Nature can provide. “What a great gig”, I thought …
… and then the coffee machine stopped working.
Frankly, what followed was so stressful for me that I can’t be sure of the facts anymore.
Suffice it to say that these calm, fun-loving, healthy, kind people turned “evil” that
morning. I even remember thinking that I was in danger of being assaulted by a few of
the more irate, coffee-less riders.
The point of this story is that these were patently Good People, and that they remain
patently Good People to this day. They weren’t being rude and aggressive “jerks”
because they were rude and aggressive people. They were behaving that way because
they were addicted to caffeine, and they were suffering from withdrawal. In this way, I
was able to personally witness firsthand how people’s personalities are literally altered by
this subtle-yet-insidious drug …
It didn’t stop me from drinking coffee right away, of course, and yet quit I eventually did
-- and quitting coffee has been one of the best things I have ever done (if not also one of
the most challenging). In order to help you do so as well, it might be useful to first
examine a few of the falsehoods with which the coffee industry has been misleading you.
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