WHEN YOU CROSS CULTURES - World Evangelical Alliance

136 WHEN YOU CROSS CULTURES
respond. Sometimes, you may accept the invitation prematurely. At other times,
you may refuse and cause hurt.
When going from one culture to another, a most important motto to
keep in mind is “NOT WRONG, BUT DIFFERENT”. Eating noisily by slurping
your soup would be impolite in a Western culture but in parts of Asia, it is often
a sign that you are enjoying your food! Not wrong, but different!
B Lifestyle and Relationship Stresses – Adjusting To Cultural Values
The second kind of stress comes from unavoidable changes to a new
way of living and relating to people. These are lifestyle and relationship stresses.
Here, cultural values are involved. Facing these different values and having to
make changes will cause stress. Values relate to matters such as personal privacy,
use of time, money and cleanliness.
The first kind of stress, culture shock, can be overcome over a short period
of time. The second kind related to deep-seated values will be more difficult to
handle. Frustrations together with a negative attitude to people and the culture
can deplete the energies of the worker and his family. On the other hand, the
capacity of the worker to accept the situation and learn to live with it will help
to reduce stress. Let us look further into some of these stresses.
1 Personal Privacy
Living in New Zealand, my wife and I observed that personal privacy is
highly respected. In many areas, homes will not have fences or gates. In crowded
and noisy Asia, retreating into the quiet privacy of one’s own home may not be
possible. Your neighbours or strangers walk past your gate and peer over your
fence. Their staring inquisitively at you or looking intently at your home may
appear to be their past time. There is often nothing you can do to change such
behaviour.
Because relationships play an important part in ministry, the home of
the missionary is often open for hospitality. When my wife and I were involved
in a grassroots student ministry in Malaysia and New Zealand, we had students
in our home continually. Although we enjoyed ministering to them, the demands
of hospitality would place additional stresses for my wife. We also had students
and young graduates live in our home for Christian training. Having times
alone to ourselves would be rare.
Women are usually expected to serve and therefore will experience greater
stress with the demands of hospitality. My wife would serve our visitors meals
we normally ate rather than add sumptuous extras which are really unnecessary.