WHEN YOU CROSS CULTURES - World Evangelical Alliance

DEFENCE MECHANISMS ACCOMPANYING CULTURAL STRESS
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cultures. We use the term “face-saving”. While the defence mechanism of
projection can be used to save face, it nevertheless causes hurt to others.
An American missionary had been invited to pastor an Asian church. A
few leading elders in the church did not like his forthright manner of pointing
out certain weaknesses in the organisation of the church. They felt he was
insensitive to Asian “polite” ways. The congregation, however, affirmed the
pastor. The church more than doubled in attendance through the pastor’s
excellent teaching ministry.
Sadly, these few elders began to spread criticisms about him because
they wanted him to resign. Although the pastor was willing to change, and
even asked forgiveness for his abrupt ways, the few elders refused to change
their view. Other elders tried to persuade them to be forgiving and invited
respected Christian leaders in the country to mediate. The critical elders stuck
to their position. In the end, the pastor resigned and the church was split into
two camps. Such tragic situations are not uncommon in Christian work. They
cause great damage and tremendous hurts that take years to heal.
Is emotional healing possible? Yes, but the deeper the hurts, the longer it
takes to complete the process of forgiveness and healing. There are important
steps to take. The process begins by placing guilt where it actually belongs.
The natural tendency would be to try and forget the painful experience.
For example, in the incident described, those who were hurt might say, “The
elders are, after all, good people. Their actions were really not what they meant.
We’ll forgive and forget.” Such attitudes excuse the transgressions rather than
forgive them. To forgive, those who were hurt need to admit, “The attitudes
and actions of the few elders hurt all of us. They were wrong to criticise the
American pastor, and wrong not to accept his request for forgiveness. They
were wrong to force him to resign.”
After placing guilt where it truly belongs, they can then proceed to forgive
the elders by not trying to ”punish” them for their wrong-doings. They had a
choice to make: whether to forgive or not to forgive. In this case, they chose to
forgive.
The next step is to allow God to free them from the painful experiences
of the past. Not placing guilt where it belongs can be a cultural weakness. This
causes unnecessary stress for Asian cross-cultural workers. As Asians, we need
to be responsible when handling such matters and to live in reality. Practising
forgiveness is also essential.
4 RATIONALISATION
Sometimes when conflicts arise or when our self-esteem is being
threatened, we try to formulate rational causes for our actions or reactions.