WHEN YOU CROSS CULTURES - World Evangelical Alliance

144 WHEN YOU CROSS CULTURES
2 SUPPRESSION
When unpleasant emotions are experienced, we can either express these
feelings or consciously suppress them. Putting these thoughts away without
dealing with their inner cause will mean storing them up. They will be released
some time later in other ways. The unconscious process of storage is termed
“repression” by psychologists.
A missionary trainee had faced many relationship and other adjustment
problems on the field. When older supervisors tried to help him, he found it
difficult to openly share his inner struggles. He would internalise many of his
fears and suspicions. When he returned from the field, I had some sessions
listening to him. Because I knew him well, he would talk for more than three
hours each time. He had suppressed some of these feelings on the field. As he
matured, he made progress and now he serves on the field with a responsible
occupation and role.
3 PROJECTION
Through projection, we find fault with others. We attribute to them the
characteristics that we cannot accept in ourselves. We project attitudes, feelings,
weaknesses or failures to others. When blinded from reality, and truth is
distorted, we feel justified in criticising others and in taking out our frustrations
on them. The person who makes quick judgments or rash criticisms often uses
this defence mechanism.
I know an Asian Christian worker who would treat others graciously
and politely. On the surface, he would seem to have all the social graces. But he
had a volatile temperament. When under stress, he would lose his temper and
instead of calmly dealing with the issues at hand, he would lash out at people.
He would criticise other workers for some of the attributes seen in his own life.
If a person sees these characteristics and deals with them seriously, there
is hope for change. But if he does not recognise his need, then change may be
extremely difficult. The person will gradually develop an unforgiving spirit and
also miss the joyful experience of being forgiven. Such a person will find himself
living in suspicion of people and attacking them in direct or indirect ways.
Bitterness not only defiles others, but it is a form of “self-cannibalism” that will
ruin a worker’s life and ministry.
Asian cultures are described as “shame” cultures rather than “guilt”
cultures. However, both guilt and shame are prevalent in interpersonal
relationships. It is common for Asians to take the blame for violating a code of
conduct rather than offend someone. Sometimes, a person may put the blame
on circumstances rather than embarrass another. People will avoid causing
shame or embarrassment to an individual, his family or community in Asian