WHEN YOU CROSS CULTURES - World Evangelical Alliance

170 WHEN YOU CROSS CULTURES
CHAPTER TWENTY FOUR
BUILDING HEALTHY
RELATIONSHIPS
Relationships with people can be a major source of stress. As a young
missionary trainee, I had observed the tensions between missionaries –
between leaders and subordinates, between missionaries and local leaders,
between co-labourers on the same team.
One major cause for the premature return of missionaries to their
homeland is related to interpersonal problems. These problems can erupt at
any phase of a work.
In one field, an Asian missionary found it difficult to communicate with
his field leader. He felt his leader should promote the views of national leaders,
but the leader would not listen to him. His leader, a godly and sensitive person,
found that the missionary was not particularly teachable in certain ministry
directions. Soon they could not communicate. Among Asians, confrontation is
not considered a virtue. Sadly, their strained relationship continued for more
than ten years. Other members of the team noticed the tension that existed.
But they overlooked the problems because they felt that showed loyalty to the
leader and to fellow team members. Team morale and spirit weakened as a
result. Only years later did another supervisor notice these tensions and take
the time to resolve the strains.
Disagreements on the field are not uncommon, and they need to be
resolved as speedily as possible. The example in Scripture of Paul and Barnabas
indicates that disputes can be sharp (Acts 15:36-40). Solutions may not always
be ideal, but parties involved need to meet together and resolve conflicts.
In an Asian setting, direct confrontation between parties may not always
be the best way. Usually a neutral person, preferably an older godly man who
is respected by the Christian community, can be called upon to mediate. An
amicable atmosphere needs to prevail and times of prayer are essential.
Having been involved in many situations where conflicts have had to be
resolved, I have learned that it takes a process of time, hard work and prayer
for reconciliation to be complete, and harmony to be restored. Occasionally, a
conflict may never be fully resolved.