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GURDJIEFF, G.I. – Life is real only then, when I am - Integral Book

GURDJIEFF, G.I. – Life is real only then, when I am - Integral Book

GURDJIEFF, G.I. – Life is real only then, when I am - Integral Book

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self fully to my new profession as a writer and broke all relationships Ihad previously had with people of every rank and class in variousEuropean states—of course excluding my relations with the employeesof various cafés and restaurants.Well <strong>then</strong>, my friends imposed by Destiny! In spite of my mostnatural sincere desire, which must be clear to you, that the first branchof the "fund<strong>am</strong>ental kernel" of such a first institution connected withmy ideas should be organized just here <strong>am</strong>ong you, I, impartiallyanalyzing with my consciousness all the past and confronting certainobvious facts, cannot fulfill in peace such a w<strong>is</strong>h, dear to my nature.The cause of such a contradiction in my general inner state <strong>is</strong> myclear understanding of the fact that some of you, perhaps on account ofalways being such, or on account of various m<strong>is</strong>understandings whichtook place in the past years in the internal life of your group, do notcorrespond at all to the requirements which must be put before themembers of th<strong>is</strong> first institution proposed to be organized here, n<strong>am</strong>ely,such an institution which in my opinion must have for the future a veryimportant character of general human significance.During the time of my presence here <strong>am</strong>ong you, more than once Iseriously thought about the situation which had been created but failedto find a definite way out of it, and <strong>only</strong> today, <strong>when</strong> it appeared clearthat I shall be obliged to come here again next year on account of somebusiness which has no connection whatever with you, and I <strong>real</strong>ized,besides, that I should be for at least one year or even more occupiedwith questions concerning my writings, I took a categorical dec<strong>is</strong>ion: topostpone the organization of these clubs until next year and to devote allthe time left of my present stay <strong>am</strong>ong you entirely to the personalreorganization of your group, in th<strong>is</strong> sense, to introduce into its internallife principles corresponding to my ideas which must unfailingly be

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