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GURDJIEFF, G.I. – Life is real only then, when I am - Integral Book

GURDJIEFF, G.I. – Life is real only then, when I am - Integral Book

GURDJIEFF, G.I. – Life is real only then, when I am - Integral Book

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Above everything else, there <strong>then</strong> flowed in my consciousness thefollowing thoughts:If all th<strong>is</strong>, which was written during three or four years of almostunceasing day and night work, were to be rewritten from the beginningin another form more accessible to the understanding of every reader, atleast the s<strong>am</strong>e length of time would be required. . . . But time <strong>is</strong> neededfor the exposition of the second and third series; and time will be alsonecessary for introducing into practical life the essence of these writingsof mine. . . . But where can so much time be obtained? . . .If my time depended solely upon me I could, of course, rewrite all th<strong>is</strong>anew. Moreover, from the very beginning of th<strong>is</strong> new writing, I wouldacquire the certainty of a peaceful end, for now, knowing how to write,I could fully expect that at least after my death the principal aims of mylife would certainly be <strong>real</strong>ized.But, due to all kinds of accumulated consequences of my past life, it sohappens that just now my time depends not upon me but exclusivelyupon the "self-willed" Archangel Gabriel. And indeed there remains tome but one or two or perhaps, at the most, three years more of life.Concerning th<strong>is</strong>, that <strong>is</strong>, that I have soon to die, any one of hundreds ofphysician-special<strong>is</strong>ts knowing me can now confirm.Besides th<strong>is</strong>, I myself in my past life had not in vain been known as agood, above the average, diagnostician.Not for nothing had I during my life held many conversations withthousands of candidates for a speedy departure from th<strong>is</strong> world.

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