GURDJIEFF, G.I. â Life is real only then, when I am - Integral Book

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The result of this was that at subsequent meetings with such people Ibegan, for the purpose of elucidation, to observe them particularly andby means of indirect questions to probe for more material which mightenable me to understand the origin of this strange and, for mepersonally, sorrowful fact.Each new meeting with such people, and even the associationsprovoked by recollection of this as yet inexplicable fact, on the onehand began to increase my interest and the thirst for knowledge to sucha degree of manifestation that it became almost my idee fixe; on theother hand, the automatic thoughts about it began to hinder meseriously in my usual inner struggle with the lawful refusal of mynature to submit to my consciousness and interfered thus with thepossibility of my full concentration on the continuation of my work,which demanded the greatest attention.But when finally, at the end of 1930, 1 arrived in New York and onthe first day I happened to find myself among a large number ofAmericans, followers of my ideas, and when I observed the samephenomenon also among them, then this produced such a deepimpression on me, and the force of reaction was so strong, that itprovoked a cold shivering similar to that which takes people who areafflicted by the so-called "yellow malaria of Kushka."I then even, to "throw dust into their eyes," increased my usual habitof joking in conversation in order to hide this inner state of mine fromthe people around me.After a pretty long time, when I grew calmer and realized after arapid meditation that for the fulfillment of the object of my presentjourney to America, which among other things was connected with thefinancial question, it would be possible for me to manage withoutmaking use of this group of people, I decided while I was there, andafter elucidating by personal contact with the people composing thisgroup all the details
and the shape of the gradual formation within their individuality of thisoriginal psychic peculiarity, I would do everything possible in order touproot, if not from all, at least from the majority of them, this eviloccasioned by the misunderstanding of my ideas, as well as some othercauses, the nature of which I already half-guessed.I must frankly confess that if such a strong reaction occurred in me,thanks to which I decided this time by all means to understand andelucidate from all sides the causes of this psychic peculiarity, and ifpossible to take all the corresponding measures, it was principallybecause in regard to people just of this group, long before, owing totheir good attitude toward me during the hard years that followed mymisfortune, there had long before gradually formed in me "something"commanding me to consider myself, in certain respects, under anobligation toward all of them in totality.Well then, as the description of the events following this decision ofmine may elucidate to every reader, among those who have becomefollowers of my ideas, the causes of the arising of this fact maleficentin the objective sense and, for me personally, painfully distressing, andin order that perhaps some of them who have assimilated wrongly theessence of my ideas and who continue to apply them to themselves, soto say for their "welfare," I refer to those in whom data for commonsense reflection are not yet completely atrophied-data which areformed in the psyche of man during his preparatory age—may perhapscease their so to say "self-ruination"; and furthermore, as acquaintancewith the contents of the mentioned five talks delivered by me amidstpeople belonging to this very group during my two stays in NewYork— which, by the way, were included among the measures I tookfor the rectification of these pernicious results "arisen through amisunderstanding of my ideas"—may be, in my
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PREFATORY NOTE Although this text i
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Tales to His Grandson, that the Thi
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first thing, is to prepare a nucleu
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PROLOGUE I am. . .? But what has be
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"black" thoughts, I had decided to
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with the impressions with which dif
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It would, strictly speaking, even b
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Under such conditions of tension ye
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Only the next morning, when it bega
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On this original instrument I then
Page 24 and 25: And I also knew that the reason for
Page 26 and 27: there, then also in an almost delir
Page 28 and 29: Instead of lying down to sleep awhi
Page 30 and 31: I could not attain the state of "re
Page 32 and 33: The difference between Him and my s
Page 34 and 35: always in my various general states
Page 36 and 37: Even my propensity during this peri
Page 38 and 39: physical body of mine, but sucked f
Page 40 and 41: From such a "promenade," it was dis
Page 42 and 43: my exposition, I made it a custom i
Page 44 and 45: ciently long and serious mentation,
Page 46 and 47: First to die, from a long-standing
Page 48 and 49: The fact is that my mother knew not
Page 50 and 51: I began once more to remember these
Page 52 and 53: From the very beginning, from the 1
Page 54 and 55: already here, that, in their compos
Page 56 and 57: All three of the aims, self-imposed
Page 58 and 59: So, thanks to this, the third reaso
Page 60 and 61: Although all the strange will-tasks
Page 62 and 63: wits got together purposely to thin
Page 64 and 65: which follow almost all the misunde
Page 66 and 67: INTRODUCTIONNovember 6th, 1934Child
Page 68 and 69: y me at the end of 1930 and the beg
Page 70 and 71: As the mention of such a free attit
Page 72 and 73: as a supplement to the used-up prod
Page 76 and 77: opinion, generally for every reader
Page 78 and 79: Expecting with indubitable certaint
Page 80 and 81: "I am not yet certain if it really
Page 82 and 83: FIRST TALKdelivered by me on Novemb
Page 84 and 85: life of people by means of the Inst
Page 86 and 87: of achievement of the required data
Page 88 and 89: advice and direction concerning sev
Page 90 and 91: Coming Good, was first noticed by t
Page 92 and 93: ing himself with his whole being of
Page 94 and 95: standings which had an equal relati
Page 96 and 97: data for their psychic functioning,
Page 98 and 99: SECOND TALKdelivered by me in the s
Page 100 and 101: other "a flea on a chain," I consid
Page 102 and 103: enthusiasm was that during our stay
Page 104 and 105: as much as my deep occupation with
Page 106 and 107: during these years, I want, simulta
Page 108 and 109: actualized and which could contribu
Page 110 and 111: the former group, a list of whose n
Page 112 and 113: fulfilling of which advice may alon
Page 114 and 115: wrote after I had very definitely s
Page 116 and 117: of all sorts of blind events and as
Page 118 and 119: strength always and in everything,
Page 120 and 121: whole lexicon of words in the Engli
Page 122 and 123: to concentrate each separate part s
Page 124 and 125:
and the third part should follow th
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FOURTH TALKdelivered by me on Decem
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discussions and deliberations of th
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ers of his group, but all at once,
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what Mr. Gurdjieff has said here in
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my head in the cushions which, by t
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those who belonged to the second gr
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inherent only in man, I wish to giv
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FIFTH TALKto the same group on Dece
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in people in general, particularly
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At the beginning it is necessary to
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In my opinion, it is only by fulfil
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phenomenal stupidity of people who
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ciations automatically flowing in m
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THE OUTER AND INNER WORLD OF MAN Al
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presence of a man who has attained
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presence of man, ordinarily perceiv
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part of the brain, the second, in a
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Work went so well that by nine o'cl
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woke up my secretary who was sleepi
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as soon as I should begin the writi
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was not a 'blood brother' of his an
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"All present sat or kneeled quietly
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In short, irrespective of my unquen
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I took The New York Times, a huge,
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THE OUTER AND INNER WORLD OF MANTHE
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logical Clinic for the Aged of the
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in general and of its separate impo
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which have already been mentioned.O
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The first is the outer world—in o
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This principle, which is beyond sci
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And as soon as a man begins to thin
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GURDJIEFF, G.I. â Life is real only then, when I am - Integral Book

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GURDJIEFF, G.I. â Life is real only then, when I am - Integral Book