GURDJIEFF, G.I. – Life is real only then, when I am - Integral Book

ous self-reasoning, is really nothing else than the direct outcome of theself-reasoning that transpired in me when in an almost similar state,about thirty years ago, on the edge of the Gobi desert.So when I had more or less recovered I began just from here to continuemy researches, but now for two definite aims instead of only one.Here I will not write about what I undertook in continuation nor of howI satisfied my inner "two-headed worm of inquisi-tiveness," as aboutthis I have already written in enough detail in one of the books of thisthird series of my writings.On this occasion I will say only that, after some years, I found itnecessary to originate somewhere an institution for the preparation of"helper-instructors," in order to be able to put into the lives of peoplewhat I had already learned.When this need arose, then, after all kinds of "comparative mentation," Iselected Russia as most appropriate for this purpose.With this aim I found myself in 1912 in the heart of Russia, the city ofMoscow, where at once I started to organize such an institution underthe name of "The Institute for the Harmonious Development of Man."After two years of constant psychophysically tense work thisorganization was rapidly nearing completion when suddenly war brokeout, a war which no one expected would continue long but whichgradually became chronic and is now called "the World War."Years dragged on; years which now already not only continuedceaselessly to demand tense activity from this ill-fated