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GURDJIEFF, G.I. – Life is real only then, when I am - Integral Book

GURDJIEFF, G.I. – Life is real only then, when I am - Integral Book

GURDJIEFF, G.I. – Life is real only then, when I am - Integral Book

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As soon as I <strong>real</strong>ized the sense of th<strong>is</strong> idea, I was as if reincarnated; I got up and began to run around the spring, without knowing what I was doing, like a young calf.It all ended thus, that I decided to take an oath before my own essence, in a state of mind known to me, never again to make use of th<strong>is</strong>property of mine. I must also mention that, <strong>when</strong> I took the oath not to apply in life th<strong>is</strong> inherency of mine, I made a reservation that my oath should not concern the application of it for scientific purposes. For instance, I was very much interested <strong>then</strong>, and even now myinterest has not entirely van<strong>is</strong>hed, in increasing the v<strong>is</strong>ibility of d<strong>is</strong>tant cosmic centers many thousand times through the use of a medium, andin the cure of cancer by the power of suggestion.All th<strong>is</strong> was about two years prior to th<strong>is</strong> my second sojourn here. Toward the end of th<strong>is</strong> second sojourn, in my being, the basic aim ofalmost all my life split into two definite aspects; and th<strong>is</strong> time alsothanks to my unhindered free mentation, that <strong>is</strong>, mentation which proceeded without the effects of the automatic influences of other people. The trouble <strong>is</strong> that until th<strong>is</strong> time the aim of my inner world had beenconcentrated <strong>only</strong> on my one unconquerable desire to investigate fromall sides, and to understand, the exact significance and purpose of the life of man.Until th<strong>is</strong> time in my life, every activity into which I had rushed, everyfailure or success, had been connected with th<strong>is</strong> sole aim of my inner world.

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