GURDJIEFF, G.I. â Life is real only then, when I am - Integral Book

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In short, irrespective of my unquenchable wish to work, andirrespective of the fact that at any convenient or inconvenientopportunity I wrote and wrote, so that I might finish this book andattain the end of all the tasks I had set myself, I was, nevertheless,unable to do so.As [on April 9th, 1935] I had finally finished the prologue, I beganon the same day to write this chapter.And it was in connection with the exposition of this second chapter,on which I am now working, that the coincidence took place, withwhich I have decided to acquaint the reader, as profitable for thischapter.The whole day and night of April the 10th, with extraordinaryefforts, I worked and reworked the beginning of this chapter, which wasunsatisfactory to me, and it was not until the evening of the next daythat it seemed as if something was beginning to arrange itself, and thecertainty awoke in me that from now on it would be easier.But, after a few hours of sleep, as I began again to write further, andcame to that point where I had first used the expression "problem of theprolongation of human life," I became stuck again.This time I became stuck because it was suddenly clear to me that fora full explanation of this question which, among all the questions raisedby me in this book, I had decided to make the basic question, or as onemight say, the "clue," I must without fail, in the first place, if onlybriefly, inform the reader what position this question takes in presentdayscience and in the mentation of contemporary people.I began to ponder how to begin, so that the explanation of thisquestion should be as comprehensive as possible, and at the same timenot too long.However I "turned" the facts, known for this case, and
from whatever side I tried to describe them, it all turned out too long.My thoughts about this introductory theme took such control of methat I ceased to be aware of anything else.Whoever might come to me, whatever he might say, or with whateversensations he might leave me, I noticed nothing;even my desire for frequent coffee-drinking or cigarette-smokingdisappeared.At times I felt dizzy, as if my head were actually bursting, but I stillkept on and on with writing, as if all else dependedon it.On Sunday, the 14th of April, just as it struck midnight, I decided tolie down in the hope of being able to fall asleep, but it was not to be.It was just the other way. The thoughts, continuing to work, tooksuch proportions that they drove sleep completely away. It becameabsolutely clear to me that without such an introductory themeeverything else would have no worth at all.Day began to break as I, quite convinced that no sleep would begranted me that day, decided to get up and take a stroll in the streets.As it was Sunday, and very early in the morning, there was hardlyanyone to be seen.I went down the first street I came to, thinking I might find a nightcafe where I could go in and drink a cup of coffee.As I went, I saw something moving in the distance on the corner and,on approaching, found it was the newspaper dealer laying out hismorning "wares."I decided to buy a newspaper and then go home and lie down again;perhaps by reading the paper my thoughts might be a little distracted,and I might succeed in sleeping, if only a little.
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PREFATORY NOTE Although this text i
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Tales to His Grandson, that the Thi
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first thing, is to prepare a nucleu
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PROLOGUE I am. . .? But what has be
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"black" thoughts, I had decided to
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with the impressions with which dif
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It would, strictly speaking, even b
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Under such conditions of tension ye
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Only the next morning, when it bega
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On this original instrument I then
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And I also knew that the reason for
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there, then also in an almost delir
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Instead of lying down to sleep awhi
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I could not attain the state of "re
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The difference between Him and my s
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always in my various general states
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Even my propensity during this peri
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physical body of mine, but sucked f
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From such a "promenade," it was dis
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my exposition, I made it a custom i
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ciently long and serious mentation,
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First to die, from a long-standing
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The fact is that my mother knew not
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I began once more to remember these
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From the very beginning, from the 1
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already here, that, in their compos
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All three of the aims, self-imposed
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So, thanks to this, the third reaso
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Although all the strange will-tasks
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wits got together purposely to thin
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which follow almost all the misunde
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INTRODUCTIONNovember 6th, 1934Child
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y me at the end of 1930 and the beg
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As the mention of such a free attit
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as a supplement to the used-up prod
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The result of this was that at subs
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opinion, generally for every reader
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Expecting with indubitable certaint
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"I am not yet certain if it really
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FIRST TALKdelivered by me on Novemb
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life of people by means of the Inst
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of achievement of the required data
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advice and direction concerning sev
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Coming Good, was first noticed by t
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ing himself with his whole being of
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standings which had an equal relati
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data for their psychic functioning,
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SECOND TALKdelivered by me in the s
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other "a flea on a chain," I consid
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enthusiasm was that during our stay
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as much as my deep occupation with
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during these years, I want, simulta
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actualized and which could contribu
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the former group, a list of whose n
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fulfilling of which advice may alon
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wrote after I had very definitely s
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of all sorts of blind events and as
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strength always and in everything,
Page 120 and 121: whole lexicon of words in the Engli
Page 122 and 123: to concentrate each separate part s
Page 124 and 125: and the third part should follow th
Page 126 and 127: FOURTH TALKdelivered by me on Decem
Page 128 and 129: discussions and deliberations of th
Page 130 and 131: ers of his group, but all at once,
Page 132 and 133: what Mr. Gurdjieff has said here in
Page 134 and 135: my head in the cushions which, by t
Page 136 and 137: those who belonged to the second gr
Page 138 and 139: inherent only in man, I wish to giv
Page 140 and 141: FIFTH TALKto the same group on Dece
Page 142 and 143: in people in general, particularly
Page 144 and 145: At the beginning it is necessary to
Page 146 and 147: In my opinion, it is only by fulfil
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Page 150 and 151: ciations automatically flowing in m
Page 152 and 153: THE OUTER AND INNER WORLD OF MAN Al
Page 154 and 155: presence of a man who has attained
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Page 158 and 159: part of the brain, the second, in a
Page 160 and 161: Work went so well that by nine o'cl
Page 162 and 163: woke up my secretary who was sleepi
Page 164 and 165: as soon as I should begin the writi
Page 166 and 167: was not a 'blood brother' of his an
Page 168 and 169: "All present sat or kneeled quietly
Page 172 and 173: I took The New York Times, a huge,
Page 174 and 175: THE OUTER AND INNER WORLD OF MANTHE
Page 176 and 177: logical Clinic for the Aged of the
Page 178 and 179: in general and of its separate impo
Page 180 and 181: which have already been mentioned.O
Page 182 and 183: The first is the outer world—in o
Page 184 and 185: This principle, which is beyond sci
Page 186: And as soon as a man begins to thin
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GURDJIEFF, G.I. â Life is real only then, when I am - Integral Book