GURDJIEFF, G.I. – Life is real only then, when I am - Integral Book

"The process of intentional formation in one's presence of such datais conditioned by the difficulties of crossing over from one stream of theriver of life to the other."It is interesting to note here that the expression often used bycontemporary people, of course quite automatically, without anyunderstanding of its hidden sense—'the first liberation of man'—signifies, according to the interpretation of initiates of one schoolexisting presently in Central Asia, just that supposed figurativeunderstanding which I in my writings formulated as the possibility foreach drop of water of the prime general river to cross from the streamwhich is predetermined to disappear into the 'nether regions' into thestream which empties itself into the vast space of the boundless ocean."As to the possibility of this crossing for a man who in hisresponsible age has already entered into the stream of the 'netherregion,' although it is given by Great Nature, I must warn you, in ordernot to provoke in you so to say 'light-hearted illusions' regarding thispossibility to cross from one stream to another, that it is not so easy—merely to wish and you cross."For this it is indispensable, with a constantly active consciousness,first of all with extremely great intensity to obtain the intentionalcrystallization in oneself of the data for engendering in one's commonpresence an unquenchable impulse of desire for such a crossing, andthen will follow a long inner struggle, requiring great tension of all theinner forces, with the obvious abnormalities crystallized in one'sindividuality and evident even to one's own self-reasoning, that is tosay, a struggle with the crystallized habits unworthy for man even in hisown understanding in a period of repose, which contribute, first, to thearising in us of our inner 'Evil-God' and second, to the supporting andincreasing in us of its power and