Coincidance - Principia Discordia

188 COINCIDANCE
how the Irish would react to a deal whereby the U.S. will exert pressure on Britain to allow
Irish re-unification if the Irish will in return join NATO and accept nuclear missiles on their
soil. Do you think there is anything in that rumor?
I'm sure it has been considered at some stage, but no Irish government I
can imagine would accept it.
Mr. Haughey, the leader of the opposition in Dail hEirann, recently said that when the
British pull out, they should also pay reparations to Ireland. That couldn't be his way of saying
that, if he gets back into power, he might consider the nukes if the British paid a big enough brib
No, not at all. I think the British should pay reparations, for the 63 years of
civil war that partition has inflicted on us.
Do you think the British will pay?
I think they will have to pay some compensation, yes.
I'm only Irish by ancestry, but even I get annoyed by British attitudes at times. For instance,
when I look at the weather forecast on BBC-TV, I'm always astounded that Ireland has no
weather, although Northern Ireland for some reason does. It is as if they are trying to pretend
that we don't even exist.
That sort of thing is annoying, but you get used to it after 80 years. You
must remember that we are Britain's oldest colony; they have been here for
800 years. Every imperialist power creates a caricature of the conquered
nations, to justify themselves: "We're only there to civilize the barbarians,"
you know. The ordinary Englishman and Englishwoman are very decent
really, but they have 800 years of anti-Irish attitudes to unlearn. They have
always been told that we are charming, quite irrational and never, never to
be taken seriously for a moment. They also think we have unfortunately
long memories. On the other hand, this ordinary Englishman and Englishwoman
is getting a bit cynical about that myth by now. The war has gone
on too long, and it is costing too much. There is a real groundswell of
opinion there now that it is time to pull the troops out and have done with it.
The attitude is much like the. American attitude toward Vietnam around
1970, when everybody was ready to pull out except a few diehards at the top.
For the benefit of Irish-American readers, I'd like to ask you about the assassination of
Michael Collins in 1912. Me was your commander in the old I.R.A.; you were his bodyguard
at one point. You must have read all the charges and counter-charges and alternative theories.
Who do you think shot Michael Collins?
I think that is still an open question. Some of the recent evidence,
however, especially disclosures in the last three or four years, does tend to
support the theory that he was killed by British secret agents. The civil war
was still going on then, between the Free State and the I.R.A. Collins was
trying to end that, trying to negotiate a truce. He was on his way to meet