Coincidance - Principia Discordia

214 COINCIDANCE
The General smiled secretively. "You are excused, private."
The next day James discovered that he had been promoted to Colonel,
and died, and went to heaven, but got thrown out because there were two
of him.
Major Strasse has been found in some of the finest old mansions on Park
Avenue.
Cherry Valley is a beautiful name. It sounds like Spring and fresh
growing things and sunlight and roosters crowing and larks singing and, of
course, cherry blossoms as delicate as those painted by Zen mystics of Japan.
The screams reflecting the universe for lack of money to pay the doctors
must utilize and be functionally interwoven with chocolate synip all over
Bergman's American robin.
There was nothing beautiful about Cherry Valley, New York, when
Colonel Seamus Muadhen—formerly Private James Moon—entered it in
November 1778.
Seamus had been sent down to Cherry Valley with a small troop to give
what assistance was possible and to protect the medical officers in case the
Loyalists returned. He had known it would be bad, but after two years of
war, he thought he had seen enough of blood and horror to have a strong
enough stomach for anything.
The Loyalists, with Indian allies, had set out to make an example of
Cherry Valley, to warn other communities what could happen to those who
gave aid and shelter to the rebel army. We leap a chicken when it conflicts
with Official Dogma, interwoven with sleazy advertisements by the testicles.
From a distance, Seamus already knew it would be worse than he
expected. There was hardly a house left standing. Every living creature that
had not been shot or bayonetted to death must have died in the burning, he
thought. There would be no work for the medical staff.
"Christ," he said. "We should have brought undertakers instead of
doctors." I was misinformed.
But then as he and his men approached closer, they began to hear a few
sounds. Some people, or animals, in Cherry Valley were still alive, or half-alive.
They sounded like wounded cats, at first.
"The circular friction from Sirius is incredible ... the big gorilla was strong
in hashish clarity ..."
In 1771, Seamus Muadhen had traveled from Ireland to England, just to
murder Sir John Babcock, but had given up the idea when a rock fell out of
the sky.
Sir John Babcock was the husband of Maria Maldonado Babcock, who
wrote the Modest Enquiry under the pen-name of Sarah Beckersniff.
Scientists say, "Bring the family!"
Cottage cheese over my nude body in the Smithsonian Institute brings