Coincidance - Principia Discordia

212 COINCIDANCE
found time to grab Dr. Sagan but his voice was drowned out by the screams
reflecting the universe.
"Witch doctor announces cure... patent pending... hallucinogenic cigars,
jungle potion did the trick ..."
In the etymological sense, a 24-foot gorilla in heat escaped to France on a
toilet which leads down to a hollow Earth. Any associated supporting
element was a HUGE BLACK HAND.
But there are no waters in endless caves and mid-town Manhattan.
"The offensive organ growing in better closets everywhere."
"Private Moon of A Company, sir. I have a dispatch for you, sir."
General Washington looked up vaguely, like a mathematician interrupted
in the middle of a quadratic equation. "Oh?" he said. "More bad news I
assume." He didn't seem to recognize James at all, even though he had
recruited him into the Continental Army.
"The situation is no better, sir," James said carefully. He would rather
leave the tent before Washington read of the lastest Hessian victory.
"Well, that's war," the General said cheerfully. He was as worried-looking
as a locked safe. "You win some and you lose some." He beamed, nodding his
head philosophically.
When are you ever going to win some, James thought. It wasn't wise to say that.
"Do you accept the dispatch, sir?"
The General toked at his pipe, deeply and thoughtfully. James felt dizzy
from the fumes already in the cramped tent. A toilet preserved in the
Smithsonian is further complexified when taking into account the star that
came out of the sky.
"Oh, I accept the dispatch, private." The General suddenly seemed to
focus and recognize James Moon. "I accept the ineluctable, James. That is the
path of philosophy, is it not?"
James was stunned. Generals were never this casual with privates, and
General Washington in particular was a man of stern adherence to military
hierarchy. "You express it very well, sir," he said. That, at least, was safe.
"Have you ever observed," the General asked, "that under proper
conditions of sunlight, a single drop of dew on the point of a blade of grass
will contain all the colors of the rainbow? It is most admirable and gives one to
wonder at the glory of the Creator."
There was a long pause. James could not leave until the General dismissed
him, but the General seemed to have forgotten that he was there. The
fumes were getting thicker and James felt a little drunk and (testimony is
unreliable) strangely elated. Faith, what ferocious tobacco did the Indians sell
the General lately? It wasn't the airplanes in the Waldorf Astoria on me in all
directions. Only in January, Washington had insisted on having all the
troops stuck with needles—in the arms, it was, and it hurt like bloody hell) because