Coincidance - Principia Discordia

230 COINCIDANCE
"illness insurance," so nobody would die for lack of money to pay the
doctors. M. Franklin agreed that all of this might happen in a century, but
some of it would probably take two centuries.
M. Voltaire said it couldn't happen until those rational teachers
Condorcet imagined had replaced religious orders in the educational system,
and that would take a thousand years in the civilized nations, five thousand
years in the Middle East, a hundred thousand years in the Orient, and a
million years in Ireland.
The Merovingian kings round up the usual suspects—no more constipation
worries.
It was not until three years after Cherry Valley that General Washington
finally told Colonel Muadhen about the star that came out of the sky, that
night long ago in the woods, and the Italian Arab or Arabian Italian who got
out of the star and spoke to him, and prophesied his future in accurate detail.
The Italian or Arab who rode in the star had said, at the end, "Never fear,
never doubt, never despair. We shall raise you higher than the kings of
Europe."
Then the Arab or Italian repeated formally, "We met on the square, we
part on the level," and climbed back into the star. He shouted, "Remember—
no horse, no wife, no mustache," made some mechanical adjustments, and
flew straight up in the air and away over the tree-tops.
By 1800, there had been over a thousand clandestine printings of the
grossly indecent Beckersniff booklet. Because of the scandal it had
provoked, the infamy of A Modest Enquiry survived all the censors and
book-burners on the toilet; it was never discussed in decent circles, and
never had the overt notoriety of Wollstonecraf t's Vindication, but even in the
Victorian Age, Professor Pokorny found (see his invaluable The Necronomicon
and Other Unspeakable Texts) at least thirty thousand printings appeared
through the plumbing, especially in the vicinity of Oxford where it was a
great favorite with giggling undergraduates. Any associated supporting
elements leads rats and cockroaches through endless caves and labyrinths.
A Mortal blow had been struck to English manhood. Even those who
laughed and believed they were reading a variety of philosophical pornography
were undermined. The Willy itself had become comical, and authority based
on nothing else but possession of a Willy seemed obscene. Self-confidence
ebbed; virility withered; despite Kipling and Haggard, a long, melancholy,
withdrawing roar was noticed as Anglo-Saxon manhood tottered and
stumbled.
By 1950, the British Empire was obviously on the edge of mortal collapse.
By 1968, there appeared in America and quickly spread back to Europe a
variety of Radical Feminism which held that possession, not absence, of a Willy,