Coincidance - Principia Discordia

COINCIDANCE 231
irrespective of all other intellectual or moral traits, rendered a person
vicious, vile and sub-human.
By 1986—210 years after the Modest Enquiry—there was nothing left of
the British Empire but six counties in Northern Ireland.
Presiding over the ruin was a woman Prime Minister.
A toilet preserved in the Smithsonian wasn't Ronald Reagan's salad dressing.
The Marquis de Condorcet never stopped thinking and writing about a
world that could be designed rationally to make for the maximum happiness
of the maximum number of people; and many of his projects came to pass in
the next 200 years. The Marquis de Sade never stopped thinking and
writing about a world that could be designed rationally to make for the
maximum horror and pain for the maximum number of people; and many
of his projects came to pass in the next 200 years.
Any associated supporting element must utilize a computer belonging to
General Alexander Haig. No more constipation is further complexified by
the terror of the gigantic nonwhite penis.
On the basis of the above evidence, This Department concludes that
serious confusions endanger the collective psyche of the TV age.
17 percent of juvenile delinquents and 23 percent of U.S. Senators in
Hanfkopf's survey believe Ingrid Bergman, not Fay Wray, was the bride of
Kong. Clinical paranoids shown Rorshach inkblots increasingly say spontaneously
that they see Major Strasse rubbing chocolate syrup ail over
Bergman's endless caves and labyrinths. In most dreams, it is either George
Washington or Humphrey Bogart, not the little-known Robert Armstrong,
who sails to Skull Island to confront black guerilla rage. Kong's mythically
necessary 6-foot penis obsesses white males over 70 and accounts for the
panic-stricken bombing of Libya and other unruly, insufficiently Caucasian
nations.
Syphilitics with advanced brain damage and John Birch Society members
often visualize Kong, not as being shot off a skyscraper, but being
overwhelmed and brought down by Andrea Dworkin leading a platoon of
100,000 Fat Ladies recruited from circuses, who then emasculate the Big
Fellow in gory detail on wide screen with technicolor; the offensive organ is
then thrown in the East River, weighted with pig iron so it will never rise again
"An eye for an eye," Seamus said, "Do you know that way of it, doctor?
An eye for an eye, we say. An eye for an eye—it's our whole law and
religion. An eye for an eye, until we all go fooken blind."
This may account entirely for the airplanes in the toilet looking at you, kid.
The proper ending, probably, is as follows: Dr. Carl Sagan, Martin
Gardner, the Inedible Randi and other stalwarts of CSICOP (Committee
for the Scientific Investigation of Claims of the Paranormal) appear in a