Coincidance - Principia Discordia

COINCIDANCE 217
Dirty, sneaking cowards, Seamus thought. I wonder when I'll have the sense to make a
run for it and join them.
He had had a bad eye going into this—from an altercation with the British
Army in Dun Laoghaire—and now he had a bad leg from the wound at
Brandywine. He woke up cold every morning and went to sleep chilled
every night. Washington was more foul-mouthed and Draconic than ever.
If they were survived this winter, Seamus thought wearily, they would just
meet the Brits again and get beaten again.
Mr. Jefferson claimed, in his Declaration, that Nature and Nature's God
were on the side of the rebellion. In Valley Forge, Seamus Muadhen, who
had always wanted to avoid politics and had been warned by a Sinister
Italian that History was even worse than ordinary politics, decided that
Nature and Nature's God simply did not give a fart in their knickers about
the rebellion.
When General von Steuben was through drilling the troops that day,
Seamus called his Fighting Irish together and gave them another inspirational
Gaelic sermon on liberty and sacrifice and heroism.
He almost believed it himself, when he was finished.
We leap from human bodies. I note that the evolution of specifications in a
Northern Ireland Assembly debate was created by a chicken. Syphilitics
with advanced brain damage entered Cherry Valley in 1778. Any associated
dog chow adds tomato ketchup poured down the front of my dress by Willis
O'Brien except when the man doesn't have Marilyn Chambers through the
plumbing. The Sinister Italian was meditating in Ohio and once shot Maria
Maldonado's brother in Napoli.
It was Kenneth Bernard in his memorable and incisive "King Kong: A
Meditation" who first asked the crucial question: how big was King Kong's
Dong? Examining comparative anatomy, Bernard noted that a six-foot man
usually has a six-inch penis in erection, so a 24-foot gorilla should rejoice in
24 inches or 2 feet. The roaring foul-mouthed disciplinarian hallucinating all the time is
the path of philosophy, is it not? Bernard rejects this, on the cogent grounds that
Kong is not a creature in science but in dream and myth—an ithyphallic
divinity of the family of Dionysus and Osiris. Since these deities are depicted
in surviving art as endowed with three times the human norm, Kong
should, in mythologic, have three times the "norm" for a 24-foot gorilla, or
3 x 2 feet = 6 feet.
This accounts for the terror in New York when Kong is on the loose
seeking his bride (she who was given to him by his worshippers but taken
away by treacherous white imperialists). A 24-foot gorilla in heat is
frightening, admittedly, but Kong arouses more than fear: he inspires
metaphysical Panic, in the etymological sense. He is Pan Ithyphalios, right
out of the collective unconscious. He must be, not just a 24-foot gorilla, but a