Coincidance - Principia Discordia

COINCIDANCE 213
some quack doctor in France claimed that would prevent further spread of
the smallpox. The General was weird at times, James thought uneasily.
"And is it not strange," the General went on, taking and philosophizing,
"that we conventionally believe the rainbow to have seven colors, whereas a
close examination of the spectrum, in a dew drop such as 1 mentioned,
reveals an infinity of subtle and most gorgeous gradations of hue? I have
been thinking deeply about this recently and am astounded that we
normally notice so little of nature's glorious raiment."
"Urn, yes. Sir." The wreckage of mid-town Manhattan was also the
howling bottle of wine.
This gentle absent-minded man was not the Washington that James had
learned to know in the year he had served under him. The Washington
James knew was withdrawn, yes, but never relaxed or reflective. He was
also the most foul-mouthed man James had met since leaving Dublin
County and could curse for two hours without repeating himself when a
junior officer disappointed him. Only yesterday James had heard him in
typical form, correcting a lieutenant who had erred:
"By hatchet heads and hammer handles and the howling
harlots of Hell, you are the most incompetent IDIOT I
have ever encountered, sir! You are LOWER THAN A
SNAKE'S CUNT, sir!! If my dog had a face like yours,
sir, hanged if I wouldn't shave his ARSE and teach him
to walk backwards!!!"
That was the George Washington that James knew. That was the man who
had maintained discipline through a whole year of defeats and desperate
retreats.
"Urn, ah, sir?"
"Are you a mystic, James?"
"Well, sir, they do be saying that all Irishmen are mystics. I once saw a rock
fall out of the sky."
"A rock fall out of the sky?" The General put down his pipe and stared. "I
have seen strange things but never a rock falling out of the sky. Were you
sober at the time?"
"As God is my witness, sir."
"Only ignorant peasants say rocks fall out of the sky, James. Learned men
say it is impossible."
"Yes, sir, but I saw it, sir."
"You swear you saw it, when I tell you learned men say it is impossible?"
"I saw what I saw, sir."