Warriors in Peace Operations - Strategic Studies Institute - U.S. Army

As I reflected on the emotions I was feeling—disappointment,
sadness, bitterness, guilt, and so forth—I realized I
needed to figure out why and determine how to deal with
them. Otherwise I would not be effective as a commander or
be able to deal effectively with the trauma that the rest of
the battalion was beginning to go through.
On the surface, not having to deploy to a miserable, cold,
wet, disease-ridden country to perform a difficult mission
under oppressive strain and with questionable objectives
and uncertain political leadership would seem like a good
deal. However, I felt genuine disappointment in not
deploying. I attributed it to several factors. First, we are
taught from an early age that we are part of a team. We
become tightly bonded with the team—with the other
commanders and units in the organization. Therefore, when
you are broken away from the team, excluded to some
degree, it hurts your feelings. Although, to his credit,
Colonel Fontenot recognized this and went to great trouble
not to exclude the Dukes from the brigade’s efforts, it was
clear that in the minds of some we had immediately gone
from being team members to outsiders. It is something that
just happens naturally when there are some who do not
share the hardships and risks of the others. The second
factor was that we are taught that leaders never send their
people to do things they are not willing to do themselves. We
share the hardships and risks with our men. But here I was,
sending some of my soldiers off to God knows what while I
would be comfortably at home with my family. Although
hard to admit, I was also feeling some embarrassment at not
being chosen for something. In the movie “Patton,” George
C. Scott, portraying General George S. Patton, delivers a
speech about when, after the war 30 years from now, when
your grandchild on your knee asks what you did in the great
WWII, “at least you won’t have to say . . . well . . . I shoveled
sh—in Louisiana.” Somehow, being the Rear Detachment
Commander did not seem much better than being the head
shovel man. All of these factors made it difficult to deal with
having to stay behind. This recognition of why I was feeling
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