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soso 715
future husband gives presents to his future parents-in-law during all of this period
of engagement, sometimes in kind like helping them in their rice fields or in
building or repairing their house.
The request for marriage is usually made by the boy's father or father's brother.
Among the Soso of Lungi, a young man today may sometimes ask a girl to
marry him, and if she consents, he goes to her parents or usually sends an
intermediary. This follows more current patterns in larger urban or semi-urban
centers where Western influence is strong. The engagement is usually sealed
with presents of money and kola nuts to the girl's parents.
In polygynous Soso society, one finds that older and more established men
tend to have more wives, while young men often have only one since that is all
they can afford. The more prosperous a man is, the greater is the tendency for
him to have plural wives, which is also seen as a status symbol.
Marriage usually takes place after the girl has reached puberty and been
circumcised, the responsibility for the cost of this ceremony being that of the
prospective husband or his family, if the girl was already engaged. Whereas
formerly all girls were married immediately after reaching womanhood, in
present-day Soso society this is not always the case. Some girls who marry after
they are no longer virgins are considered a disgrace to their families. In the more
traditional setting, this disgrace would sometimes be grounds for them to have
their heads shaved or for them to be flogged.
For the marriage ceremony, kola nuts are sent to the parents and the bridegroom
does not attend. There is great rejoicing and dancing if the bride is a virgin.
Among the Soso of Lungi, marriage is legalized when the groom's parents take
a calabash containing small domestic items and the sum of Le 1.75 (1 leone =
U.S. $0.80). The groom or his parents later pay a price agreed upon between
the two families. The bride goes to her own household during the ceremony, if
she had been living at her future husband's household. Eight days after the
ceremony, the bride is escorted to her husband's home amidst much merriment
and dancing if she is a virgin. Marriage ceremonies are sometimes also sealed
in a mosque, with the bride and groom attending as in the Western pattern. This,
however, does not preclude the traditional rites.
Husbands are very respectful to their parents-in-law, especially their mothersin-law.
A man speaks with great deference to his mother-in-law and does not
speak frivolously in her presence. A father-in-law has the right to request help
from his son-in-law. The latter may send money in lieu of his service, but if he
flatly refuses, he brings shame on his family.
Women do not attend funerals among the Soso. If a woman dies, her husband
prays over her body and is one of those who lowers her into the grave. Burial
takes place on the same day of death. The grave of a "big man"—a chief or
religious leader—is dug with a cavity on the side where the body is inserted. A
child is buried without ceremony if it dies before receiving a name. Otherwise
it is given normal burial. Bodies of notorious witches are unceremoniously
dragged to their graves with both feet tied.