THE UNIVERSE OF INFORMATION.pdf - ideals

when quite young to forming a natural history collection.
He was fascinated by science in general. He became soon
convinced of the necessity of performing in life some magnanimous
and useful task for society. He was obsessed by
religion. At the age of seventeen he declared that he had
examined Christianity, philosophy and the problem of science
and had decided that, to fulfil his duty as a citizen and a
man he would study law, and would become a lawyer. For
his own satisfaction he would become a philosopher. Bold
words, these, written after talking with Edmond Picard, an
eminent lawyer and litterateur. 4 Bold words because, though
to a degree prophetic, his life was reaching a kind of crisis:
My life is more and more closed in on itself. I reflect that I cannot
tolerate the vanity of the world. I desire to lead a life given over
completely to the abstractions of science. On the other hand there is
a great emptiness in my heart which I must also fill. God alone is
capable of filling this and it is what I ask of Him. To improve my
life — this is what I want to live for and I must battle against myself
and my innate weakness. The most beautiful virtue I can acquire
is resignation to the holy will of God.
At this time, on the point of leaving school, confronted
with the secular world lying indifferent yet forbidding beyond
his school's walls, he became confused and intensely unhappy.
In great conflict as to whether he should follow a religious
life, he sought advice, went into a retreat, and, almost distracted,
finally turned from the cloister. With all his intellectual
and spiritual forces in apparent disarray, he fled to another
Jesuit stronghold to continue his studies — the Universite de
Louvain. There, a fish out of water like most freshmen beginning
their university careers, he looked back at his inability
to commit himself to the Church as a weakness and lamented
his lack of holy fire.
Though he could no better explain than as a weakness
his reluctance to become a priest, a sympathetic observer
might cautiously attempt it. For one thing the great emptiness
in his heart was more apparent than real. He had made at
least one good friend at the College Saint Michel, Armand
Thiery, who met the rather stringent requirements for friendship
he set forth in his diary. 5 With Thiery he could discuss
much that before he had had to consign to the privacy of
its pages. Though admiring his father, Otlet had little
sympathy or understanding from him. One day he had spoken
to his father «about certain questions of general science
together with the question of the proved existence of God.
He said to me: 'don't go into all that'.» Dutifully Otlet had
tried to obey, but a stream cannot be made easily to run uphill.
With Thiery he could discuss all of that and more, for Thiery
also went to Louvain as a student. Later he became a professor
there and discovered a real vocation for the priesthood.
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